


Extinction

by CandleCucumbers



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Attachment Issues, Bratting, Child Neglect, Corporal Punishment, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Izaya is a baaad student, Izaya is not good at taking rejection!, Kinda, Like literally the worst, M/M, Masochism, My fav, Obsessive Behavior, Shizaya - Freeform, Slow Burn, Spanking, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Student Izaya, Tags will be added, Teacher Shizuo, Teacher-Student Relationship, anger issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-01-18 13:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandleCucumbers/pseuds/CandleCucumbers
Summary: Izaya Orihara, a problem child, has been transferred from school to school, his parents never being able to find one that would take until they finally sent Izaya to Raira Academy, a private institution where order and rules are taken very seriously.Izaya soon develops a very strange and undeniably dysfunctional relationship with his teacher Shizuo Heiwajima, who is a hardass that gets on Izaya's nerves constantly but; he's the only one capable of giving Izaya something no one else ever can. Shizuo doesn't know that his particular methods for discipline in detention are Izaya's favorite part about school, until one day he does find out.What happens as a result will either make them or break them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on a shizaya oneshot I wrote about four years ago. It's about as bad as you'd expect a high schooler to write. I was reading over it recently (half a year ago) and felt like rewriting and expanding it so here we are, making it into a multi chapter fic! Please keep note: I've been drafting up this fic for a few months now and have only now started shaping and editing it. 
> 
> As more chapters come out, I'll eventually post the link to my old fic on tumblr. It's enjoyably bad if you're just looking for a laugh. Hope you actually enjoy this version though. Will update tags as I go along. Please have fun reading!

Orihara Izaya was a good student, an exemplary one at that. In fact, he was one of the top students in his class at the prestigious private school Raira Academy. He used to be, that is. It was one of the best institutions in the city although it has been criticized for its ‘traditional’ approaches in some of the classrooms. Izaya’s parents were aware of this notoriety, thought it was best to send him there, something of a last-ditch effort after having tried so many different schools before that couldn't handle him. 

He sits in his Biology class, bored out of his mind. His chin rests in the palm of his hand and he stares off into the middle distance cursing his decision to come to class at all. He'd been enrolled in this school for only one semester last year. This new school year marks the start of his second semester. A surprising feat given Izaya has hardly lasted longer than one semester before getting kicked out.

He always expected a private school like this to be extremely boring and while he wasn’t exactly wrong, he had underestimated the youth of the elite class. They had turned out to be more interesting than he wanted to give them credit for. It turns out that even the most average people can surprise him. Surprised or not though, there isn't much of a challenge when it comes to meddling with people and manipulating them. That part is easy once you know the most important thing about a person. Just about everyone Izaya’s ever met has a weakness that he, or anyone else, could exploit if he wanted to. It's one of his favorite traits of humanity, that no one is safe from this vulnerability, no matter how special they are. 

Classmates are one thing though. _Class_ is a hell Izaya can't stand. To him each subject is taught at a snail's pace, the information given is redundant, and it takes precious time he could be using to do something of value with his life. There's nothing about his classes that are worth anything. 

All except one thing. The only thing that will never get old or boring, and he was going to be seeing him soon. When the bell rings, Izaya is the first one out the door, escaping the mind-numbing torture these people call an education. There was a little pep in his step as he walks to his last class. He breezes by Shinra, who’s pulling out books from his locker. 

“Hey, Izaya wait a minute!” Shinra shuts his locker and runs after him carrying a comical amount of books, more than he can actually hold.

“Sorry Shinra, I have to get to my next class, some of us take school very seriously,” he calls back over his shoulder, leaving him in the dust.

“That’s rich coming from you!” Shinra yells as Izaya vanishes among the crowd of students.

Izaya reaches his classroom but is disappointed to find that he's not the first one there this time. He sits down in his spot and sets his eyes on his favorite and _least_ favorite thing about this wretched place. Heiwajima Shizuo.

Or maybe he really should start calling him Heiwajima Sensei by now. The freakishly tall 27 year-old man standing at his desk was a force to be reckoned with, even for Izaya. The bright yellow of his hair is like a beacon in the dark, he's always the first person you notice in a crowd. He's lanky at first glance but Izaya has watched closely enough to notice the sinewy muscle in his forearms on the days he has his sleeves rolled up. He's flipping through some pages of his binder completely unaware of Izaya’s staring. Or maybe he's pretending not to notice.

Looks aside, Shizuo is a menace to the school, or maybe he’s speaking too broadly. In reality, he’s a menace to Izaya. He almost never fails to get in the way of his truancy or other plans. Whenever he’s caught, not only is he forced to return to class but he’s forced to stay after school to “catch up” on what he missed. Like Izaya needs extra time to learn this rudimentary bullshit. 

Shizuo’s bright hair rests slightly over his eyes, in total disarray. The strands stick out in all directions as if he literally rolled out of bed and went straight to class. It's a devastatingly good look on him. The idiot has probably never heard of a comb by the effort he seems to put into his own appearance but the way he looks, as a result, is simply... unfair. It couldn't be more flattering on him. The first two buttons of his shirt are undone, showing the hollow of his throat. Izaya’s gaze trails shamelessly down the man’s body, ignoring the rest of the people filing into the classroom.

Finally Shizuo does look straight at him, and a disdainful scowl settles over his features. Izaya laughs quietly to himself, a face like that shouldn’t be twisted in such a way, but he won’t complain about the effect he has on him.

Shizuo looks away first. Izaya can’t help but feel smug about that too. He takes off his glasses and sits on the edge of his desk to wait for everyone to be seated.

He may be one of the more attractive faculty members, but he’s also one of the most feared. He isn't like any human Izaya knows, it's a wonder the man completed a career path with the kind of brutish temper he has. Not only did Shizuo have the world's shortest fuse, but he displayed that anger with complete abandon. He rules his classes with an iron fist, zero tolerance for insolence and class disruption. The smallest snide comment or jest could get a book or a chair thrown at you. He was someone Izaya had trouble fooling, much less controlling. 

A part of him hates Shizuo on principle for that. His violent nature and unusual strength are also something to frown upon because of how inhuman it is. But another part of him is fascinated by it. This one, unlike the rest, poses a greater challenge than he's ever known. Their constant clashing has become one of the few driving forces for going to school for Izaya .

What makes things even more interesting are Shizuo's very unorthodox ideas about discipline in the classroom. He's one of the only teachers that resorts to a paddle in very...extreme cases. That’s what makes getting into trouble with Shizuo so _very_ fun. The common offenses usually landed kids in average detention. But the ones that get in fights, vandalize, or are caught with drugs get sent to Shizuo. Needless to say, none of his students _ever_ misbehave. Except for Izaya of course.

Being what Izaya’s parents call a ‘trouble child’ they thought this school would be the best fit for a lost cause like him, especially when they heard about how the rules were enforced here. He scoffed at the thought. _That sort of backfired didn’t it, mom, and dad?_ Izaya was notorious for being the only student who’d been sent to Shizuo more than three times. Everyone else had done everything in their power to stay in Shizuo’s good graces after those detentions. Not Izaya.

He would never admit it to anyone, not even Shinra, but every time he got himself into trouble, every time he’d have to stay after class to receive his punishment, every time that paddle came down-

“Orihara-san.”

Izaya snapped back to reality and looked up to see his teacher standing over him with his arms crossed, the class filled with heavy silence.

“Oh, good. You’ve finally decided to join us back on earth. I won’t say it again, _pay attention_.” Shizuo says gruffly before resuming his lecture. Izaya stares back at him, a little startled and he exhales slowly. Ok, maybe attraction does have something to do with it. He needs it again, damn it. He needs to get in trouble and feel the _force_ those arms have while wielding a paddle. The class goes on and Izaya doesn't take his eyes off of him. Occasionally Shizuo will look back at him, eyes narrowed in contempt before turning away. Thirty minutes later, Izaya hasn't taken down a single note and decides he's had enough with the charade. He turns in his seat to face Masaomi Kida the guy who sits behind him. 

“Hey Masaomi-kun, what’s up?" He whispers with a wink, "isn't this lecture just boring you to tears?” 

Kida blinks dumbly at first but then his expression turns to horror. His eyes dart to their teacher and back. “Are you insane? Don’t talk to me during class!” he hisses angrily but _quietly_.

Izaya giggles, throwing any discretion out the window. “Don’t be silly, nothing is going to happen whilst we have a spineless teacher like _Shizu-chan_ here. How’s your girlfriend doing by the way? What was her name again? You two are becoming quite serious aren’t you?” 

As Izaya continues his one-sided chat about the common mistakes people make in romantic relationships, Kida and other students fall silent in anticipation for what's to come. He hears footsteps and then Izaya is struck hard in the back of the head with a book. Hardcover. Ouch.

“Now that was totally uncalled for,” Izaya says, rubbing the growing bump on his head, emulating the perfect victim.

“Orihara-san...I know I don't need to tell you to keep your mouth shut during lecture,” Shizuo spoke rough and strained, clearly losing his patience by the second. With slow controlled movements, he removes his glasses and tucks them into his shirt pocket.

Izaya smiles brightly, “I'm very sorry Shizu-chan, I understand that but you see, Masaomi-kun and I were in the middle of a conversation. As a matter of fact, maybe you weigh in on this, we were just discussing this class and how utterly pointless it is.” The entire time he is talking, Shizuo’s eyes are locked on his with a smoldering intensity. Izaya imagines all the things he must wish he could say to him in this moment. “Right Masaomi-kun?” 

Shizuo leans close and slams his hands on the desk. He's right in his face and every muscle in his body seemed seems coiled to attack. Izaya prides himself in not flinching. 

“Ori..hara…” Izaya appreciates the sound of him struggling to control himself. “Do not call me that.” It must be one of his good days because he definitely would have gone berserk by now! He is a little surprised he’s even trying to be civil. Izaya meets his eyes challengingly but then he sighs and bows his head in submission, “Sorry, Sensei.” 

Shizuo squints at him in disbelief and waits for something. "I don't believe you." but Izaya stays silent. Shizuo slowly stands up straight and walks away reluctantly. Izaya smirks when Shizuo foolishly turns his back on him. He really should have known better than that. Before he loses his chance, he sprints to the closest window and undoes the latch, 

“Forget it, I think I’m going home early today. Bye, Shizu-chan!” He calls out to his favorite teacher before climbing out. People in the class gasp and stand up to see if he'll really do it.

"What the hell is your _problem_ , brat?!” Shizuo sneers when he makes it in time to yank him back by the scruff of his collar before Izaya can jump.

Izaya laughs loudly like he just told a joke,"I already told you, idiot! Your class is pointless!”

\----------

Later that evening, in detention Izaya sits patiently in his seat humming an upbeat tune while Shizuo clears his desk wearing another one of his famous scowls. After Izaya's escape attempt earlier, Shizuo had screamed in his face that he had detention and then promptly escorted him to the office himself. It was quite the scene.

“Shizu-chan, please don’t make faces like that all the time. You’ll age faster,” he drawls slowly.

“I told you to stop fucking calling me that," Shizuo retorts.

"Shizu-chan! A teacher should be a better influence on his students than that. I'll pick up all sorts of terrible language from you. Don't you know young minds are malleable? ”

“Don't give me that fake bullshit of yours. I’m serious, stop it.”

Izaya loves hearing him speak that way. He thinks he might be the only one in this school who can see the callous side of his professor. Well, the _more_ callous side anyway. He watches with growing excitement as Shizuo takes the paddle out of the bottom drawer of his desk, he doesn’t look nearly as happy about this as Izaya feels.

"You know the drill,” Shizuo gestures towards the desk.

"Of course," Izaya complies happily, walking to the large desk and bending over, placing his hands flat on the surface. 

He rests his head on the cool mahogany wood and waits for the exhilarating pain of his "punishment". He recalls all the times he nearly came from being spanked, he always had trouble staying quiet through it all but he'd never let out a sound. A smirk creeps along his face as he remembers. He knows Shizuo only does this for the sake of being a teacher, he knows this isn’t supposed to be in any way sexual. But that doesn’t mean Izaya can’t enjoy himself in secret.

After a few moments of no pain, he gets impatient. "Hello? I have somewhere to be after this."

“Drop your pants.”

_Eh?_

He looks back at Shizuo in confusion but the stone-cold expression on his face tells him he's completely serious. Izaya still doesn't quite believe it. But despite the spike of fear and the pounding in his heart, he obediently reaches down to unzip his pants and pull them down to his thighs.

“Your boxers too...”

Izaya’s mouth falls open but he doesn’t breathe. He swears he didn’t just hear that come out of Shizu-chan’s mouth but he still pulls down his boxers, anyway. Izaya is completely bare now.

He isn’t even given time to let this sink in before he feels a hard slap on his ass. He’s disoriented for a minute, eyes wide and blinking hard, slowly processing what just happened and how it felt. At the next smack on his bum, he exhales sharply, releasing the breath he forgot he’d been holding and from then on he can’t really control it. It’s still as hard as the first. He breathes through his nose and rests his head on his folded hands. Any words he had to tease Shizuo about this have dissolved completely and he is _still_ surprised when Shizuo strikes him a third time. He’s using his hands, _his hands_.

It feels so different, Shizuo’s palm against his bare skin. It’s so much _hotter_ , there’s a sharper edge of pain that runs up his spine, rendering him hard and shaking. Shizuo is still efficient with his process, blunt strokes that leave a strong impact and don’t linger once. Because of this, Izaya has no opportunities to steele himself for the next strike. He gasps for air as quietly as he can, so as to not betray how much this is affecting him. 

“You think it’s funny to endanger yourself for attention, Orihara?” Izaya is pulled out of his trance and thrust into confusion once again.

“What?” Shizuo brings a hand down on his ass hard, making him cry out for the first time ever. 

“That stunt you pulled today wasn’t just annoying, it was plain stupid. Even for you.” Aww, Shizu-chan is worried? That’s going in for the books. 

“Don’t be silly, I would have landed fine.” It's true, Izaya has landed from heights like that all the time when he would practice his parkour.

“If you say so.” Another smack that makes Izaya’s whole body curve in on itself. "Sorry, was that one a little too hard for you?" He needs this to stop now, Izaya is completely hard and if Shizuo keeps going, he fears he might actually come from being spanked this time. He presses himself as close to the desk as possible to hide his aching erection. 

"How many times have I had to do this and you still never learn?"

Shizuo starts an unrelenting, pattern of blows to each cheek. His skin grows increasingly sensitive, each concentrated slap hurting more than the last. Izaya’s toes curl in his shoes and he’s barely keeping himself from sliding off the desk he’s bent over. This is so much more than Shizuo usually dishes out and Izaya would be alarmed if he weren’t so aroused. Shizuo smacks him again but his rhythm breaks and his blow veers slightly down to the swell of his ass where his thighs meet. It startles Izaya and he lets out a high staccato cry. He bites his bottom lip and his face burns with dread and humiliation. Shizuo heard that, had to have known what it was. Izaya is suddenly aware that Shizuo has stopped. 

“I’ll wait outside and let you get dressed Orihara-san. I hope this is the last time I’ll be seeing you in detention.” Shizuo says briskly and walks out of the room. If he had noticed Izaya’s arousal, he certainly didn’t show it. Izaya pulls himself back together as fast as he can and puts his pants back on. He awkwardly hides his erection with his school bag as he rushes past Shizuo and speed walks to the nearest bathroom. 

When he’s finally alone in a stall, he drops his pants again without preamble and jerks himself off to the thought of Shizuo, and his hands, being bent over on his desk, every single blow. He has never felt anything like this before, he can still feel the pain of every single impact, the throbbing. He shuts his eyes and comes hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOH! First chapter finally posted <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn starts now muahaha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! I'm beyond amazed you guys already like it this much :') I knew I had to post the first chapter in order to get on my feet.

Izaya’s ass is sore and bruised for at least a week and a half. It’s a problem in that it’s a constant reminder of what he experienced and it compromises his composure every single day, especially when he’s forced to remain seated for hours at school. Sometimes it's from discomfort, and sometimes it's just from the sheer arousal that pangs low in his stomach. Izaya used to have trouble resisting getting slightly hard on some days when the pressure on the bruises was just right, and his memories of Shizuo's presence behind him, delivering every stroke of pleasure to him. Fortunately, he's much better now at willing them away, so he's spared from those kinds of situations. 

The day after he was spanked, he simply didn't go to school. There was no way he would be sitting on _anything_ in the next 24 hours. The week follows with Izaya going to classes intermittently. Whenever the pain becomes too unbearable, he skips a couple periods and lounges on the roof of the school. Shizuo definitely did a number on him this time. Even a week later, he still wouldn't be able to sit through all his classes on a wooden chair, even if he wanted to. Which, he wouldn't. Why would he want to and sit through all that drivel? He rarely attends all his classes for an entire week, to begin with. But this time he has a better excuse for it.

Izaya makes his way up to the rooftop for the third time that week so he can finally think. He knows when and where to skip so he won’t get caught by Shizuo or anyone else. He replays their last personal encounter over and over again in his mind lost in the heat of it. What the hell possessed Shizuo to do that? He's not complaining, he just never thought Shizuo would take it that far.

In hindsight, it was clear how angry Shizuo had actually been. Every spanking with the paddle up until then had been heavily measured, but Shizuo's strokes this time gained a little momentum as he went and his pattern even faltered at the end, landing that final blow lower near his thighs. Izaya spends hours looking at his bruises in the mirror, purple splotches covering both his cheeks. Did he want to teach him the ultimate lesson? Too bad for Shizuo this won't be the end. Izaya will certainly be coming back for more. Before, Izaya received moderate bruises that, while still stung pretty badly for a time, would quickly taper off and dull out by a week and a half. He got so much more than he bargained for this time and he won't settle for less. The hot pool of desire in his stomach that burns for Shizuo's wrath increases tenfold. 

Izaya skips practically whenever he feels like it, more now that he's recovering but he never skips Shizuo’s classes; he wouldn’t miss that for the world. 

Kida gives him a sympathetic look at the end of the day when Izaya sits down with a wince. Class begins and Izaya doesn’t take his eyes off his professor ever. He smirks whenever Shizuo’s gaze meets his but Izaya is going to behave himself. At least until his ass heals and he feels the urge to be under Shizuo’s hands again. 

Shizuo scans the room every now and then to make sure people are paying attention like he always does and his eyes fall on Izaya again. Izaya shifts in his seat and is sure to make the flash of pain visible on his face. Shizuo's mouth tightens and he looks away immediately, moves the lecture along. His expression stays carefully blank, as he reads the notes on the projector.

 

 

A few days later Izaya is spending time in his room with Shinra. He’s sitting on a cushion, leaning against his bedroom window reading a magazine. Why he doesn’t just lie on his bed is nobody’s business. Izaya finds it hard to concentrate when he has to listen to Shinra’s incessant babbling about Shizuo’s unnatural abilities while doing his AP biology homework. Izaya never invites him over; he just shows up and walks in like he lives there. Shinra is a presence he can never seem to get rid of but Izaya doesn’t really mind it. With his parents never home and twin sisters off doing whatever it is nine-year-olds do, he actually likes the company. He is essentially the only person he might ever consider a friend.

“It’s incredible, I've never heard of another person in history that is capable of the things Sensei can do. It’s just impossible! The rumors of what he did when he went to school alone…”

“There you have it, rumors. Nothing more.” Izaya has read them all online already but they all range from questionable to preposterous and very few sources to back them up. Back in the old man's life, cameras were not so easily accessible so Izaya has opted not to take those stories too seriously.

“Assuming there’s nothing special about the fibers in his muscle, I would need to assume this is a result of overproduction of adrenaline or something. The amount his body would need on a daily basis to maintain that level of strength is just-"

Izaya groans, tilting his head back with the magazine covering his face. Shinra ignores him. 

"He should really volunteer himself to science, or at least donate his body after he dies. Can you imagine the kind of discoveries we could make?”

“We?” Izaya says unimpressed.

“Humanity, I mean. For example, Heiwajima Sensei’s genes could contain a number of very interesting anomalies. I mean how did this happen? Could it be some sort of mutation? There’s so much we could learn from just a blood sample,” Shinra sighs the last part wistfully. 

Izaya’s snicker turns into a laugh in spite of himself, “do you hear yourself, Shinra? I mean, you’re obsessed. Besides, I’m _sure_ he’d happily give you a sample if you just ask nicely.”

“Hah, that’s funny,” Shinra smiles at the sarcasm. It’s a genuine smile, all of them always are. If there’s anyone close to being as obsessed with Shizuo as Izaya, it’s probably Shinra but for entirely different and obvious reasons. Izaya always finds himself listening to these long-winded rants and though he couldn’t care less about knowing the _reason_ Shizuo is a monster, he still listens. Izaya loves to dominate a conversation any day, but when it comes to the subject of Shizuo, he hardly speaks a word about him. 

“Anyway, all it would take is one window of opportunity,” Shinra says with a strange glint in his eye. It’s Izaya’s turn to sigh now.

“Why are we talking about this, again? We all know how strong he is.” Izaya knows better than anyone.

“Because of the incident this morning, he threw a desk at Okada!” Shinra reminds him, “thank god he missed, the desk was blown to pieces.”

“Oh right," Izaya says with more interest. "Wish I’d seen that one. Don’t you love seeing the monster all riled up?”

“It’s quite a sight. I heard Okada-san got a week’s detention for what he did,” Shinra says absentmindedly.

“A whole week?” Izaya sits up, wincing. 

“Yes. I don’t envy him at all,” Shinra says distractedly. “So, _Izaya_ , since you’re the only person to have seen Shizuo, uh, _reach_ that state more times than anyone in the whole school, well maybe you could get a sample for me? You already provoke him enough as it is, what’s just this one little favor going to do?”

That simpleton gets a whole week and Izaya just gets one measly day? Izaya’s track record is way more destructive than his. What did Okada _do_ exactly? Izaya wonders what it would be to endure all that for a week, the ache would last so much longer. Is he doing this to everybody now or just Izaya? Probably the latter, since there would be a considerable number of complaints from parents. He doesn’t like the thought of Shizuo doing that to someone else but he doesn’t know why.

“Izaya? Hello?” Shinra waves his arm dramatically in front of Izaya’s face. 

“What? Oh.” Izaya processes what he just heard and shakes his head, “you are just unbelievable Shinra, you’d ask me to sacrifice myself for your little science project? And suffer the gruesome consequences?” Izaya accuses mockingly. 

“You don’t mind it right? It’s never stopped you before,” Shinra smiles his stupid smile and shrugs. 

Izaya instantly frowns.

\----------

As eager as he is to infuriate Shizuo, Izaya is not about to go around sticking him with needles. However, two weeks have passed l and Izaya’s bruises have faded yellow. The pain is only dull now and he’s been craving more ever since the last time. He stalls just a little longer than usual, being a good student and allowing Shizuo a false sense of security. Then, he starts acting like himself again, taking every opportunity to undermine him.

“Wait, Sensei, that doesn’t really make sense.” 

“What doesn’t make sense?” It’s hardly a question; Shizuo looks like he wants to rip his throat out. 

“Well, you’re assigning us this book to read but I don’t see how it has anything to do with what you’re teaching us.”

“That’s not my problem. You have an issue with the curriculum, you can complain about it to someone else.”

The rest of the students are either staring at Izaya or avoiding looking anywhere near Shizuo. They sit silently waiting for this to either blow up or keel over. 

“It’s just I’m worried this might be a waste of my precious time,” he says with a polite tone, albeit one that isn’t fooling anybody.

“Another _word_ out of you, and you are out. Do you hear me?” His hands are gripping the edge of his desk behind him so hard, Izaya swears he can hear the wood creaking in protest. His eyes flit from his knuckles and back to Shizuo’s burning eyes. His heart races.

“It’s a stupid idea, Shizu-chan. The stuff that makes you want to leap out a window.” He chuckles, “I know it hurts but it's for your own good and the good of the cl-” 

He dodges the book Shizuo throws just in time for it to miss his face, it hits the corner of Kida’s desk behind him, he knows because he hears his startled shriek. 

“The office. Go _now_. Kida-san, please accompany him to make sure he doesn't scurry away.”

Izaya grins widely at him. Shizuo is nice enough to get his things for him, although he throws them on the ground outside of class. He feels Shizuo’s glare burning a hole in his back as he leaves. 

On their way to the office, he notices Kida frowning at him. 

“What is it?”

“N-nothing. It’s just, I don't get you. Why would you get in his way so much? He's crazy scary.”

“Because I hate him, and maybe because he gets in _my_ way?” Izaya offers with a smile. 

Kida’s frown deepens, “Huh? Hey, wait… the office is this way.”

“I know which way it is," he whispers theatrically, walking backwards into the adjacent hall towards the exit. "See you later!”

“No, no,” Kida pleads, face growing pale, “no, no, no, don't do this to me, please. He told me to take you to the office, he'll kill me if I don't!!”

Izaya snickers at that, “don't be so dramatic, he won't do anything like that to you.” He might kill _me_ though, he thinks as he calls it a day and strolls home. 

There's no one home to pick up when the school calls to report his misconduct, no adults anyway. So he spends the rest of the day however he pleases and gets ready for school the next morning, fully prepared to face Shizuo’s wrath with open arms. 

What actually happens next is deeply disturbing in that _nothing_ happens. He's sent to detention right that day, sure, but not with Shizuo. Shizuo didn’t give him the time of day when class ended. He'd been given a boring lecture, and then sent to boring detention. That's when Izaya realizes that something is seriously very wrong. 

He does all kinds of things for the next few days. Things that, at a different point in time, would have meant an automatic detention from Shizuo. And...While he still gets yelled at and sent to the office every single time, he’s never asked to stay after class with him. It’s starting to become extremely frustrating. Either Izaya is losing his touch, a thought he doesn’t even want to entertain, or Shizuo is going through some midlife crisis or something. 

Izaya can't wrap his head around it. He knows just how miserable he’s made Shizuo’s life ever since he transferred here late last year. Shizuo is a huge hard ass about rules and respect, and Izaya knows what his defiance means to him. So, why wouldn’t Shizuo be jumping on the next chance to punish him for his actions? It’s so bizarre that even the rest of the class thinks impending doom awaits them all when Shizuo finally blows. He has to.

Another week goes by without incident, even when he creates a debacle every single day in his class.

Fine. If Shizuo is seriously playing hard to get right now then Izaya has no problem upping the stakes. He was never one to back down from a challenge, the last thing he did was so over the top, it only makes sense he’d need to go that far again if he wants to get some results. 

Izaya scrolls through his phone and decides to have a very loud and personal conversation on a sex hotline in the middle of Shizuo’s class. Izaya thinks this will be his ticket because some of the students even giggle from the audacity of it, Shizuo hates when other students encourage immaturity. But to his disappointment, all he does is walk up to him with an unamused expression.

“Get out,” Shizuo says curtly. 

Izaya mouths 'I'm busy,' pointing at his phone and stays put. Izaya stares back at him unflinchingly while continuing his conversation with the gravelly voiced woman on the phone telling him a number of nasty things. He smirks as he listens to her and says, "my, my, what a depraved woman you are. Do you know what I would do?" 

Shizuo suddenly hauls him out of his seat by his sleeve and shoves him out of the classroom forcing him to end the call. "Shizu-chan, that was important!" He dumps his bag on him shortly after. 

“Office, now.” Shizuo says before slamming the door.

It shakes Izaya to the core. He stands there for a moment, staring at Shizuo through the window of the door clearly ignoring him and resuming class. There can only be one explanation for this. Shizuo must have figured it out, he had to have realized how much Izaya liked what he did to him, must have known what that moan really was. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut like he did all the other times before?? Now Shizuo's decided to be disgustingly noble about this situation and cease any and all interaction between them. The punishment he's loved so much for so long, gone just like that. Izaya shouldn’t be surprised Shizuo is pretending to be a normal person all of a sudden. But that’s not really who he is at all. Shizuo is a hard, rough, and unsentimental. Izaya knows it better than anybody.

Against his better judgment, he follows his teacher as he's walking to his car after school. Shizuo walks across the parking lot lighting up a cigarette as he goes, not paying any mind to the angry student storming towards him. Izaya catches up just as he opens the car door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Izaya demands with a sneer.

“Excuse me?” Shizuo whips his head around with narrowed eyes. He faces him completely and places a hand on the top of the door.

“I joked about you being spineless before but now I’m starting to actually believe it’s true,” that makes Shizuo sneer, his fingers tightening on his cigarette. “Are you seriously going to let everything I did in there go?”

“I didn’t let it go, I sent you to the office to be dealt with,” Shizuo said slowly like Izaya was stupid.

“Oh please. Like you think _they_ know anything about keeping me in check? This isn't like you, turning your back on a student,” his arms are crossed, his voice laced with venom.

“No. Clearly, they don’t. And clearly, my method isn’t really doing the job either, is it?” Shizuo leans closer to his face, anger burning in his hazel eyes. “You are entitled, Izaya-kun. You're not going to have your way anymore, I won’t have it,” Shizuo spits out. Izaya remains stock still. He’s not going to incriminate himself in anything any farther than he already has so he forces a carefree laugh instead and smiles dryly up at him. 

“I guess you need to find a better method _soon_ then because I'm going to make your life hell. You just gave me free reign to do whatever I want in your classroom with absolutely no consequences. You think those _normal_ detentions are going to deter me in any way? I’ll just skip them. At this rate, I’m going to be running your class myself.” 

“Hey!” Shizuo barks. “Don’t. Push it. Your actions add up. There are real consequences that go higher than me,” Shizuo says roughly. He finally leans back and takes a long drag of his cigarette before flicking it at Izaya’s feet and getting into his car. “If you keep this up, you might not like some of them. Goodbye, Orihara-san.” 

Shizuo shuts the door and drives off. Izaya keeps his smile in place until Shizuo is gone and it falls immediately. He can always put up a good front but Izaya can’t hold down his panic on the inside. Shizuo really isn't budging. In that moment, he feels like an idiot, like some stupid kid begging for attention who can easily be brushed off. Izaya thinks about the silly girls a year below him who are secret admirers of Shizuo and it makes him literally sick to his stomach. The cigarette lays at his feet slowly going out on its own.

He walks home alone in a heavy silence. Was that it? Is Izaya no longer capable of provoking that side of Shizuo into action anymore? Shizuo saw right through him, figured out how much he liked being hit. There’s no way he’s ever going to punish him like that again. It’s exactly what any other teacher would do. He thinks about all their encounters over and over. All the times he’s gotten the better of him and vice versa. The sense of victory and adrenaline every time he provoked him.

He walks home but he isn’t really looking where he’s going. After the initial shock has passed, Izaya mostly feels anger now. Anger at Shizuo for messing up what they had. Everything was so right before. Mostly, underneath it all, he feels the scorching humiliation at being found out like that and then tossed away. He doesn’t like being denied, especially not by someone who never denied him before, and definitely not when the thing being denied is exactly what he needs. 

His feet stop walking on their own and he realizes he’s home. It’s been a few hours now and the sky is darker. He’s strangely calm now. He’s come to a conclusion; he’s not some average student, not by a long shot. He’s not some meek little fanboy with a crush. Izaya does not and will not do denial. He always gets what he wants, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

He walks into his house, sees fresh plates in the sink and knows his little sisters have already been home. He heads up to his room, not bothering to make himself dinner tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn't expect things to go this way lmao Sorry to those that wanted more smut like that again! Fear not though, I will deliver with the sexy times all in good time. Poor lil baby Izaya, I love writing how bad he is at relationships in general.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game begins and Izaya enjoys himself but will he reach his goal sooner or later? (Or ever?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo sorry this is late! Tried to get two chapters in one go but that didn't work out. Long week it's been.

Izaya goes through school the next day with an air of easiness. Then comes last period. He walks into the classroom and stops at Shizuo’s desk. His professor looks stressed, leaning his forehead against his hand while typing evenly into his computer. 

“ _Go sit_ ,” he orders crudely, not looking up.

“Shizu-chan, I’ve been um thinking about what you said, ” Shizuo’s shoulders flinch with rage when Izaya uses the name but Izaya’s smooth, innocent tone must have disarmed him. Izaya pauses and shifts innocuously closer speaking low, “I've been thinking a lot about it and... I just wanted you to know how truly screwed your life is going to be.”

He stops typing. Izaya backs away slowly, smirking from ear to ear, and sits in his chair. Shizuo finally looks up and locks eyes with him. His expression is oddly unreadable, the simmering anger is apparent but there’s something else he can’t pinpoint. Izaya doesn’t care. Whatever it is, it means that Shizuo is now paying attention. Izaya has let him know he’s not going to lie down like a dope and get fucked over. He’s going to get what he wants and he wants Shizuo to know it too. 

Eventually Shizuo looks down at his desk, stands up, and starts setting things up for the next class’s lecture. 

_And so it begins._

 

Izaya knows he has to be smart about this. He’s a clever boy, he wouldn't have made it far if he wasn't. It’s very simple, a battle between his wits and Shizuo’s self-control. If he plays his cards right, Shizuo will have no choice but to give in. He’ll realize it can’t be helped and you just “gotta do what you gotta do” or something stupid like that. Izaya knows it’s inevitable. Monstrous anger like that isn’t meant to be subdued in the first place, Izaya or no Izaya.

And he's not going to pull any punches just because Shizuo has. Over the course of the week, he takes small steps he knows will constantly test Shizuo’s patience, then gradually builds it up until it wears Shizuo down. He starts with juvenile defiance, skipping even Shizuo’s classes, showing up late, interrupting. But that’s just the beginning, He isn’t going to stop until he’s tried everything. 

Nothing happens yet and that’s fine because he can be patient. In the meantime, he enjoys the tense, frustrated mess that is Shizuo. If he can manage to piss him off early in the day, it leaves him like a ticking time bomb until the end of it. The other people in Shizuo’s class are not fond of Izaya for this.

On one particular day, Shizuo is yelling and towering down over a student for texting during class. Izaya can’t help himself.

“For goodness sake, Sensei if you woke up on the wrong side of bed it doesn’t mean you have to take it out on your students,” Izaya says in a reasonable tone.

“What was that? You wanna get in trouble too?” He snaps at him with anger.

“Nooo. Not at alll, I am only sticking up for my classmate.”

“Oh I get it. You wanna take your ‘buddy’s’ place in the office, how selfless of you. Get out of my classroom.” Izaya gets up and does what he's been asked, albeit not without wearing his favorite smug little smirk. Shizuo glares at him, baring his teeth and Izaya leaves.

The more often he gets kicked out of class, the more material he misses, and the farther behind he gets with his grades. He just sees it as one more way to chip at Shizuo’s resolve. He doesn't like it when students fail.

 

At night, Izaya slips a slick hand down his shorts and imagines Shizuo ordering him to take off his underwear again as he’s bent over a desk. The same smooth surface. He pictures himself sensitive and hard already, expecting the solid impact of Shizuo’s hand to come at any moment. And when he starts, he doesn’t ever stop. His mind strays from thought to thought as he strokes himself fast. Then, he imagines a hand reaching around and stroking his erection tightly- Izaya pauses and opens his eyes. He shakes the thought away and continues jerking off. Shizuo only spanks him in his fantasies, nothing more. He can admire his appearance, he does it all the time and doesn't feel an ounce of shame but the moment he draws the line at imagining them together that way. It’s not because Shizuo is a man, it’s simply territory he prefers to not venture into being as it could potentially destroy things even further than they already are. 

He thinks instead about what those merciless hands can do, what he _knows_ they can do. He can hardly think about anything else, especially now that it’s been weeks since Shizuo last did what he did. Whenever he steps foot inside that classroom, he remembers every detention with him he's ever had. He remembers the last time, which now feels like it was ages ago, and it still makes him want to get hard.

Izaya is frankly appalled at Shizuo for his actions. He never held back before, and his punishments were practically guaranteed. But he just had to do something so utterly mind-blowing to Izaya only to then rip it all away. What kind of logic is that?! On top of that, Shizuo had to go and completely refuse Izaya the way he did after the fact, refuse _Izaya_ of all people. His pride and his libido took a serious blow that day.

But this isn’t vengeance, not at all. He’s just doing what he always does. Pursuing his goals to the end. When the time is right, Izaya strikes. He sneaks into the school in the dead of night when no one else is around, except for Shinra. He could tell Izaya was planning to do something dramatic and tagged along with him against Izaya’s wishes. 

“Wait Izaya, explain this to me again. What does that powertool have to do with Sensei ‘knowing his place'? Where’d you even get one like that anyway?”

“Oh come on Shinra, as if you don’t know me at all.”

“There’s a lot of things you might do with a power saw, how am I supposed to know?” He eyes the brand label on the saw in the bag with his flashlight.

“You’ll see for yourself, just stay quiet,” Izaya whispers as he picks the lock to Shizuo’s empty classroom. 

He walks over to Shizuo’s nice little desk and smooths his hands along it. Then, he takes the bag from Shinra and plugs the tool into the wall. “Hold the chair down for me,” he asks him. They turn it over and Izaya carefully saws high into the back legs of Shizuo’s chair nearly all the way through. When he’s done, he flips it off and unplugs it from the wall. He grins with delight at Shinra and says in a sing-song voice, “he’s gonna kill me~.”

It finally lands him a detention. Izaya could not focus at all while he waited for it to happen early that morning in first period trigonometry. He could barely contain his excitement. And when he actually hears Shizuo’s thundering shouts for him from two halls away he nearly falls out of his chair laughing. The other students look around in confusion and their teacher paused in the middle of a sentence. If only Izaya could have seen it happen with his own eyes, his imagination alone is a riot. But Shizuo bursts into his class, face flushed with not just anger but a little embarrassment more than makes up for it. He's never seen this particular look on his face. Maybe he should get him flustered more often. 

“Excuse me, professor,” Shizuo addresses the other teacher bluntly, then storms over to Izaya, “You and me, office, NOW.” He hauls him up and shuffles him out of the class. “You’re gonna fucking pay for that,” he says when they’re in the hall.

“Is that a date?”

“No. I meant you’re literally going to pay for that chair.”

“Oh... In that case, I'm an innocent man Shizu-chan! Whatever it is you think I did, I didn't!”

“Fuck off, I know this was you, smartass louse.”

“Innocent until proven guilty. You’ve got the wrong guy, Shizu-chan,” he pleads with mock sincerity. 

Ah, yes, things are already starting to get back to normal, he thinks when he strolls into Shizuo’s classroom after school. He is a little surprised it happened so fast, but he’d never really thought the beast had that much resolve, to begin with. He sees Shizuo has already gotten a replacement chair for the one that snapped under his weight. Izaya dumps his bag in one of the seats and stands there staring at Shizuo who’s flipping through papers and looking into his desktop screen, tapping on keys. 

“Take a seat and start your homework or something.”

Izaya just stares. “What?”

Shizuo finally looks up from his computer screen at him, “Go sit. Find something to do with your time while you’re in detention.” 

“You fucking bastard,” Izaya says under his breath. Izaya slowly backs away from the desk. 

“What did you say?” Shizuo retorts, finally giving him his full attention. Izaya scoffs and grabs his bag. 

“Forget it. I don't need to be here,” he says, walking to the door. 

“Izaya,” Shizuo warns, loud and commanding. The tone, the voice, it's what Izaya has always wanted to hear when he's aching with arousal. Despite himself, he falters but only briefly, he refuses to be the plain, average nobody that Shizuo is bent on making him so he keeps walking. 

“Oi! _Izaya_!” Shizuo yells after him. He follows him out into the hall but Izaya has already turned the next corner. “You can’t just leave detention whenever you feel like it, get back here, Izaya!”

Shizuo doesn't try to catch up to him. 

 

No more than a week later, Izaya tries again. The property damage had been paid for by his parents, of course. It was a ridiculously high price for a stupid chair but he knows they paid a little extra to smooth things over with the school.

It seems humiliating Shizuo isn't the key. But maybe something else is. Maybe a dig at his ridiculously high academic morals.

It's the middle of the day this time. Shizuo is in the photocopy room printing out a pages for an upcoming test he’s putting together. He’s sitting at the lounge table in the room, engrossed in the newspaper out in front of him while the copies stack up. Izaya peeks at the coffee mug in his hand. In the middle of the day? Poor Shizu-chan must not have gotten enough sleep last night. The current state of his hair also seems to support that theory. He finds himself staring for a little while, at the pensive look in Shizuo’s eyes as he reads and the strands of hair that fall in the way. He doesn’t see moments like these very often. He's so used to the crude, violently angry version of Shizuo. Besides, a man like Shizuo should stay true to himself, he doesn’t deserve leisure time like this. 

He focuses on his goal and carefully sneaks into the room, leans over, and takes a single copy of the test to make an answer key. He typically sells it to other students and he’s done it plenty of times before, just not in any of Shizuo’s classes. It’s not even funny the price these people will pay to not study, except it definitely is. Right as he makes it through the door he hears a sharp “Hey!” which is Izaya’s cue to break into a sprint down the hall. 

“IZAYA!” Shizuo bellows after him. Izaya doesn’t have to turn to know he's being chased because he hears Shizuo’s rapid footsteps not far behind him. Izaya only runs faster, trying not to laugh too hard as it would hinder his pace. Students in the hall quickly step out of the way when they see who's chasing him. “What are you- Give that back to me!”

“No way, Shizu-chan! I’m going to make good money off your honorable students,” He shouts back. At least during times like these, he can feel like things are normal. The rush, the adrenaline of having all of Shizuo’s monumentally dangerous attention on him is almost as good as the rush that comes when he's punished. He won't get caught. Shizuo is fast but his strength is what he’s better suited for. Izaya may be shorter than him because Shizuo is a freak of nature but Izaya is actually taller than average and he knows how to carry his legs. 

He might have actually escaped if he hadn’t run into the dumb block of wood that was Seiji Yagiri. The force of the impact makes them both fall to the floor with grunts of pain. Papers fly everywhere and Izaya fumbles through them to find his test packet. Just as soon as he finds it and starts to run off again, a hand grabs onto the back of his jacket and stops him in his tracks. He tries to get out of it to make another escape but Shizuo grips his arm like a vice, making that impossible. Oh well. The point of all this was being had in the first place.

“You caught me Shizuo,” eyes full of mirth, he grins at him mischievously. Shizuo’s expression, in contrast, is a grimace of pure rage and bloodlust. Based on that expression, you wouldn’t think he was looking at a dear fellow student and pupil but at the scum of the earth. Izaya grins the whole way to the office. This had to be it. When Shizuo looks at him like he’s actually capable of murder, it has to mean something. 

 

After _all that_ , Izaya seethes in his chair during detention with one of the most forgettable, predictable teachers in the whole school. He sits there scribbling lines in the same spot on his paper with a pen over and over until it rips through the page. Of course they interrogated him and asked if he’s ever stolen tests before, and of course, Izaya lied. He never left any evidence from the previous times so they couldn’t pin anything else on him. When he’s done tearing through his paper, he leaves, barely acknowledging the teacher telling him to get back in his seat. 

Ultimately, none of it did the trick. No one can just _change_ like that, Izaya knows it for a fact. He knows it from his limited experiences and from all the humans he observes. Shizuo can’t be that serious about being ethical. He just can’t, it wouldn’t make any sense if he was. Izaya is racking up a lot of detentions, the _boring_ kind, and will probably be living in detention for the next 3 months -if he actually decides to go that is. But he thinks he’s close. He’s not going to give up.

Shizuo steps out onto the small patio behind the school where the loading docks for the food trucks are. It's where he and some of the lunch staff go for their smoke break. Izaya has been waiting out here for a while now, waiting for him to show up. Izaya watches him closely, taking in another one of Shizuo’s uncommon quiet moments. He’s leaning against the wall, minding his own business, sucking that smoke in like he needs it to breathe. His eyes are calm and thoughtful again, looking out into the soccer and track field when he notices something in his peripheral vision. He looks up and spots Izaya, who happens to be sitting upon a ledge that runs along the wall of the school.

Shizuo sputters and chokes on the cigarette smoke. “Wh-what the f-” he coughs again, “What are you- get down, get down now-”

“I'm on a smoke break, just like you, Shizu-chan” Izaya smiles cheerfully as he inhales from the joint he's holding. 

“Izaya....is that- is that _marijuana_?” The calmness in his eyes is long gone now. To be fairly honest, he didn't understand the appeal of the drug but just as before, it was a means to an end. 

“Oops, you caught me.” He throws the cherry at Shizuo’s feet and climbs further up the wall of the school, using other structures and ledges as leverage to pull himself up. 

“Izaya? Izaya. Izaya, get down NOW! Stop!”

“You better catch me quick! That stuff was so strong, I'm starting to believe I can fly!” He breaks out into a sudden cackle and continues to scale the building, ignoring Shizuo’s screaming voice telling him to come down. By the time he makes it to the top he’s holding his sides laughing himself to tears. He takes a few deep breaths and he peeks over the ledge but he doesn't see his professor down there. He'll catch up eventually.

Just as he's about to walk through the roof access door that he’d had propped open with a brick, Shizuo blasts through it and lifts him by the shirt. 

“Izaya you are going to regret everything you just did.” He growls furiously through wild heaving breaths that make his chest rise and fall dramatically. He had run up several flights of stairs to get there after all. Izaya gets distracted by the tendons in Shizuo's throat contracting but it's hard to look away from the intensity of Shizuo's eyes for too long. Izaya’s eyes widen and his words and he smiles like he doesn't believe him, “Am I, now?”

“Aren’t you getting tired of this?” Shizuo shouts. “You’re acting insane. You could have gotten yourself killed! What’s it gonna take for you to stop??”

“You’re the one forcing me to do this, Shizu-chan. If you want it to stop then you know what you have to do,” he replies evenly, his dark eyes boring into Shizuo's. The words have an effect on him. His frown deepens but his eyes betray a hint of doubt and the grip on his shirt falters. He recovers though.

“I'm not making you do _anything_. I already warned you before, you can't play around with your life like this.”

“Awh, you _care_ do you? If you really care then you'll fix what you've ruined.” 

They stare each other down for what seems like an eternity to him until Shizuo lets go of his shirt and leaves him staggering for balance. “I’m sending someone up here to collect you. Stay put,” Shizuo grumbles, turning his back on him and walks down the stairs but not before moving the brick out of the way. The door falls shut, locking Izaya out. He pounds his fist against it with all the force he’s got until it hurts too much.

 

They asked him where he got the weed from which Izaya did not say and the obligatory phone call to his parents was made. That wouldn't amount to anything, Izaya knew. Until further action was decided, he was forced into detention again that evening but there was nothing they could do to stop him from just leaving.

Today just isn’t a good day for him. He was sure Shizuo would crack this time. He thought Shizuo was actually going to have a heart attack when he saw him climbing that wall. And the look he gave him when Izaya blamed everything on him, was priceless like he almost believed it. But every time Izaya raises the stakes, Shizuo just doubles down and denies him again and again.

Izaya can admit he’s losing his patience keeping this up. But at least he’s not the only one. Izaya had already left the building and cut through the faculty parking lot on his way home when he sees Shizuo from a distance. He’s pacing quick and jilted in long strides and he’s talking on the phone to someone in a hushed, frustrated voice. He appears to calm down a little after hearing the other person speak which makes Izaya uneasy. Who is he talking to? 

Shizuo hangs up and stands there seemingly lost in thought - and he must really think he's alone in the parking lot because he then grabs onto a nearby garbage can and kicks it repeatedly before backing away, hastily lighting a cigarette, and getting into his car. Once he’s gone, Izaya walks up to the garbage can to inspect it. The thing is actually _dented_. It makes his day just a little brighter than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fyi I still die laughing when I think about his chair breaking and Shizuo taco-ing into the ground xD ohhh my god. Lemme know what you thought! I may take a while to reply though, it's been a busy week!
> 
> Ps. Someone asked how old izaya is in the story. Izaya is a second year so he’s 17. That was gonna be established later on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya has reached the end of his rope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this is much later than I anticipated! I had a bad case of self induced writers block (that's a thing right?) Also I had to make sure this chapter didn't seem too rushed or repetitive either.  
> Possible trigger warnings in the end notes.

Izaya continues this string of outbursts but he isn’t totally blind to his actions, he knows he's becoming more and more irrational. His parents might not be bothered enough to care about the phone calls from the school or the detentions that keep piling up, but if he gets suspended more than once, they might consider moving him to another school again. And he will not have that. 

But he still remembers what happened in that parking lot, what Shizuo did when he thought no one was looking. It gave Izaya hope which isn't exactly an emotion he feels very often. So he still acts out in Shizuo’s classes, whether for the thrill of it or for the sake of his goal but he doesn’t risk pulling the crazy elaborate plans he used to. 

Sometimes the days just blur together. Day by day he has to endure seeing Shizuo and knowing he’s out of reach, knowing he can’t bend him to his will. The only thing he can control is his anger and even that is a hit or miss. He starts to really hate him. He curses him for being so unpredictable, for being so different from other humans. His mere existence makes Izaya’s life harder. And that’s why he appreciates tormenting him all that much more. 

Izaya misses so much class because of his behavior that Shizuo actually begins to let some of it slide. Just so Izaya won’t miss class. What a hero. At times he likes to take advantage of that and push Shizuo until he has no choice but to remove him anyway. It's a small joy. 

However, his victories are small and short lived. Nothing has worked out the way he wanted it to. Shizuo won't _budge_ and Izaya is left with this familiar aching need. He can hardly get off properly on his own anymore. Masturbating to the memory of what happened used to be enough but now, he's left groaning in frustration one disappointing orgasm after another when he's in bed at night. Nothing compares to the elation he felt when Shizuo spanked him almost raw. He needs more, he needs _relief_. He doesn’t know what to do.

Izaya always knew Shizuo was a beast but he didn't take him for cruel. Which is what this was. The memory of Shizuo’s slightly calloused hand smacking his skin so unrestrained and relentless, the _heat_ he felt, slowly fading from his mind while having nothing else to stave off the longing is torture for a seventeen year old. The irony of it isn’t lost on him. Shizuo is the last person he'd want to be this dependent on. Why did he have to make him crave so much and then not deliver? He truly is a monster. 

He’s constantly on edge at school, when he goes. When he doesn't go, he stays in the city or on the rooftop of the school. For once in his life he has barely any interest in the lives of other people, that alone is the biggest travesty of this entire ordeal.

This week is no different. Except Izaya’s determination is slowly dwindling in the face of Shizuo’s impassivity. Things aren’t going to go back to the way they were. Regardless of what he feels, he doesn’t let any of it show. Not when Shizuo glares at him suspiciously, or when Shinra asks how he’s doing. 

Izaya is walking back to class after lunch period ends. He’s one of the last to leave, so there’s barely anyone else in the halls when he’s walking. He notices two students in the hall to his right, both of whom he recognizes. One of them is Haruo Tsukiyama, a overly proud and completely uninspired hotheaded third year. He has Hiro Araki, the other student, cornered near the lockers by the bathroom. 

The scene before him is clear cut and familiar. He doesn’t usually interfere with these kinds of situations as they’re unfolding. He never does actually, he just likes to observe. But this time he finds himself walking down the hall towards them.

Tsukiyama is the type of person that thinks way too highly of himself when he really shouldn't. He’s easily offended by the most ridiculous things that the tiniest perceived insult to his character would start a never-ending grudge. His short temper vaguely reminds him of Shizuo. Except this guy’s anger most likely comes from a fragile ego and not a deep abysmal pit of monstrous rage. He always thought the former was an interesting trait in humans, from an objective standpoint. Today, Izaya is not being objective.

“Did I hear that right, did you seriously just talk back to me? Do you really want to die? Eh?” he overhears him growling at the cowering boy. 

“No! I didn’t mean it like-” 

“And here I was about to be nice and leave you alone. I am a nice guy after all, but you had to go and disrespect me. I’m older than you, you know. Do you think you can speak to me however you want? Did I _ask_ for your opinion?”

“Wow. I didn’t know you had so much to be proud of Senpai. What was so special about you again?”

“What the fuck you just say to me?” Tsukiyama slowly turns away from his prey to face Izaya, his eyes wide in disbelief but more importantly filled with the promise of violence. Araki looks at Izaya gratefully and slowly backs away from them. 

“I actually happen to think there isn’t anything very remarkable about you at all. Aside from that record you hold for stupidity.” Izaya laughs haughtily as he approaches him. “Well, I guess in other words, I find you pretty boring,” Izaya explains, “and stupid.”

“Do you know who you're _speaking_ to? I've done plenty, you just don't know what you're talking about!"

Mhmm. I wouldn't know anything about how you can hardly stay afloat in school if it weren't for your parents. How many times have you repeated this grade?"

You fucking bastard, how dare you! You want to get your lights punched out, is that it? Huh brat?”

“So many questions,” Izaya says with disappointment. “Are you going to stand there while I insult you or are you going to do something about it? No nevermind, I seriously doubt you could anyway.” He turns his back and starts to walk away.

“Ok since you have a death wish, how about I just kill you, Orihara!” He shouts and takes a swing at him. Izaya dodges it with ease, keeping his distance. 

“You're gonna have to try harder than _that_ senpai,” he giggles. “ _Are_ you even trying?” he asks after stepping around another punch. Is Izaya seriously getting himself in a fight? For once in his life he's unsure of what his next move is. Dancing in circles around him is easy, _and safe_ but soon stops being enough. The more energy he puts into this the more his composure breaks. Provoking Tsukiyama just isn't the same as provoking Shizuo and that makes something deep inside him start to itch. 

His rational side is screaming not to get so close, cursing himself for being so cocky knowing full well that he isn’t a fighter without a knife and even then, he’s much better at avoidance and escape. But his body is moving against all better judgement. The anger simmering beneath his skin, the anger he could make himself forget was there is bubbling out and he can’t stop it. He's a little shocked when he lashes out and connects his fist with Tsukiyama's jaw. It's a sudden overwhelming feeling of relief, even if it means he's stooped that low. 

Tsukiyama holds his face glaring at him before charging again. Izaya continues to dodge but it's harder up close and he refuses to move back. The next second he's disoriented. Tsukiyama’s finally hits him, square on the mouth. He reels back and moves to touch where he got hit but he stops himself. The force of the punch brings splitting pain about the inside of his mouth. The inside of his lip tore on his teeth. That pain happens to be _even more_ of a relief, and the fact that it is, probably means he’s hit rock bottom. 

“Haha that finally got you to shut you up didn't it, Orihara?” 

It should be Izaya’s cue to step back a few more paces and reassess the situation but instead, but he takes advantage of Tsukiyama's lowered guard and undercuts him in the stomach, hearing a satisfying grunt coming out of him.

The tackle Izaya doesn’t see coming. They both land on the ground at a hard angle and clumsily wrestle for control. Everything is too unpredictable, too fast. Izaya has gotten sloppy. Tsukiyama is bigger and easily pins Izaya underneath him.

"Who the hell do you think your are?” He lands another solid punch against Izaya’s face, and then another until Izaya gets his hands free and blocks himself. He'll give Tsukiyama this, he is fierce in a fight.

Things like this will always end up happening when Izaya lets his emotions dictate his interactions with people; when he’s not detached from the lot of them. He ends up in messy situations he’d rather watch from the sidelines than be at the center of. 

He laughs deprecatingly, wondering what’s become of him as he blocks his face from the Tsukiyama's relentless fists. When Izaya finds his chance thrusts his palm hard against Tsukiyama’s nose and puts his head into a hold to avoid getting hit again. This way he's able to keep him still and roll on top, kneeing him in the ribs as he does. They both struggle on the floor, the fight turning into a pathetic skirmish full of kicks, tugs, and skimming punches. He still lands a few more much to his delight before feeling the back of his collar being yanked back with incredible force. 

“Break it up!” Someone shouts. The two of them are forced apart by teachers, he assumes, but they both strain towards each other trying to continue where they left off. Izaya can taste his own blood filling his mouth, he probingly licks at the wound on the inside of his lip, testing how sharp the sting is. It’s bleeding too fast and he’s forced to spit it out on the ground, refusing to swallow it. 

It seems the classes in this hall have been dismissed for the next lunch period which explains the influx of students crowding around them now and professors trying to intervene. Izaya hears a low, threatening growl in his ear. 

“Izaya,” the name is drawn out through clenched teeth.

Ah Shizu-chan, of course. Always only showing up when he’s least wanted.

Tsukiyama jams a finger at him through a wall of adults pushing him back and screams, “This isn't over Orihara, just wait. Just _fucking_ wait!”

Izaya looks right at him and grins widely, flashing his bloodstained teeth. He’d been deceptively docile while he was dragged away but he takes advantage of the slack on his jacket and lunges forward towards him again, bent on throwing one last punch, just one more. His enthusiasm is bank now that his teacher is here. He almost slips out of Shizuo’s hands but he wraps an arm around Izaya’s middle just in time and hoists him up. 

“Oi! What did I say, break it up!” Shizuo shouts again as he pulls him farther away from the jumble of students and teachers and down the hall. There’s no one inside him telling him to stop now, he should feel ashamed but he really just doesn't care.

“Get off me! Get off!” Izaya kicks and shouts, pushing at Shizuo’s arm. Shizuo ignores him and pulls him aside in another hall where he spins him around and presses him into the lockers. 

“What did I tell you Izaya? What the _fuck_ did I tell you?” Shizuo growls out, smacking him upside the head. The scowl on his face fades and leans closer to his face, looking a little taken aback. He's staring at the darkening bruises and cuts, his mouth. “Look at what you've done to yourself,” his voice strangely enough, sounds distraught.

“I didn’t do anything, it was that maniac. I was-”

“No!” Shizuo slams a hand into the locker by Izaya’s head before gripping his shoulders hard. “For once don’t give me any bullshit, kid. You realize this is the stupidest thing you’ve done? Do you want to get thrown out of school? Is that really what you want?”

Shizuo is truly livid. And right in his face. Izaya stares at him wide eyed, heart beating wildly, still catching his breath from the physical exhaustion and the pain.

“No,” Izaya says honestly.

Shizuo doesn't look away for one second as he stares intently into his eyes. His anger quickly dissolves into concern. He lets go of Izaya’s shoulders carefully and Izaya’s heart sinks at the loss. “Then why? Why would you do this. Why do you need this so badly?”

It’s the first time he’s ever heard Shizuo’s voice so… worried? Sad? He’s seen this softness in Shizuo’s eyes before but it was never directed towards him until now. He’s speechless.

 _I don't know_ , he almost says. ‘I was angry’ or ‘I needed to relieve stress’ were all possible answers. _Because I needed you_ floats into his head and he cringes with disgust. It sounds so pathetic, Izaya would never dream of saying something like that out loud.

He carefully molds his expression into something he can live with and smiles harmlessly. “You know how it is with us, teenagers. Raging teenage hormones and all that. Testosterone. It's nothing.”

Shizuo sighs heavily and turns away, rubs at his eyes like a man who’s hanging onto his last thread of vitality. He runs a hand a through his hair. “This is all my fault. This is all my- damn it-!”

Izaya stares at Shizuo, confused by his strange reaction. Not at all like the irritated one he was hoping for. Maybe his days here are finally numbered. His thoughts are interrupted by rapid footsteps making their way towards them.

“Orihara-san!” a shrill voice of another professor calls out. “What are you doing just standing there, so help me…Oh good Heiwajima-san, you’re here.”

Shizuo straightens himself up and becomes professional again. “Yes, I’m taking him to the principal now.” 

\----------

Izaya sits in a chair outside the office with gauze pads stuck in his mouth and an ice pack pressed against his face. Shizuo and another teacher who broke up the fight are discussing the incident with the principal. His parents were called but they aren’t even in town this time around so they left the decision of disciplinary action entirely to the school staff until they returned.

Tsukiyama glowers at him from where he sits across the hall. He's also waiting and holding an ice pack against his nose.

“Did I knock any teeth out, Orihara?” 

Izaya just smirks at him as best he can without grimacing in pain, but he doesn’t see any point engaging him further. His fellow classmate did his part even if he didn’t know it.

“Hey! Don't fucking ignore me, brat. You think you're better than me don't you. Well you weren't thinking that when you were getting beat up like a little bitch,” he leers.

They both hear yelling from inside the office. It’s unmistakably Shizuo’s. Izaya suspects he’s dragging him through the mud in there. Izaya closes his eyes and thinks of how close their faces were earlier, the raw emotion in his hazel eyes. It was only a fleeting moment but still left a strong impression in the midst of Shizuo’s careful negligence towards him. Then he remembers the fear he saw there too. He frowns. He finally acknowledges the other student.

“I hope your nose doesn't end up more crooked than before, Tsukiyama senpai.” 

Tsukiyama springs out of his chair, “You fucking-!”

Shizuo abruptly walks out the door, disturbing Izaya’s thoughts and making Tsukiyama sit right back down. Without a word, Shizuo walks past them both and leaves. The assistant principal steps out then, telling Izaya to come in. 

Principal Akirawa sits in his office and gestures for Izaya to take a seat. He's old and has a leathery skin that betrays a lifetime of scowling and worrying but his hair is a suspiciously inky black. Izaya is slightly amused by the careful deliberation on his principal’s face like he hasn't already decided what he's going to do to him. He slowly takes off his glasses and folds them on the table, likely for dramatic effect, and reads him carefully. He's sizes up every bruise and his slightly swollen lip with something like disappointment.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself, boy?” 

“Nothing except my deepest regrets for my actions sir. I want to apologize to you and the school for my disrespect, sir.” He lowers his head. 

The principal’s frown lines deepen. “You say the same thing every time I see you in this office. Which lately, is very often. I can't help but think those are nothing but empty words.”

“They're not principal Akirawa. What I did was really wrong and reckless. You can aptly see I've atoned for it.” He gestures to his face. “What happened today put a lot of things in perspective for me.” 

Inside he wants to scoff. He would keep doing this if he could. Izaya knows he's not spoiled because he's smart enough to be grateful for how stinking rich his parents are. It’s only because of them and their donations to the school that Izaya is given so much leeway. But perhaps he's reached the limits of that privilege. 

“Orihara-san, you are a talented, gifted student. We both know that, don't we? And yet, your behavior this semester has plummeted drastically without needing to. I was considering suspending you for a period of time if this behavior continued but that was _before_ today’s incident. Our school is very lenient when it comes to promising students like yourself but you continue to take advantage of the opportunities given to you. You consistently prove what a lost cause you are, Orihara-san. Because of your disgraceful actions, we were fully prepared to expel you…”

Izaya isn’t looking at him anymore, he just stares at the man’s nameplate, far past listening at this point. He doesn’t need to hear the rest to know what’s going to happen. He’s paying the price for letting his emotions get the best of him.

“Had it not been for Heiwajima-san, that is.” 

_Eh?_

“You should be thankful to have your Sensei vouch for you. He explained the circumstances of your confrontation with Tsukiyama-san.” When Izaya says nothing he continues. “The only student that witnessed the incident ran into Heiwajima-san and told him what happened, that you were defending him from being bullied. We do not condone violence but we also abhor bullying. Heiwajima-san has also explained that you have been having personal issues outside of school that have significantly impacted your academics and he insisted you be given one last chance.

I hope you will consider this as your last opportunity to clean up your act and become one of our model students again, Orihara-san. In light of what has transpired today, Heiwajima-san has agreed to facilitate your detention every day for the rest of the semester so you can reflect on your actions.”

What, what, _what?_

Before Izaya can blink through his shock, the principal concludes his speech, “You will be suspended from school for ten days and after that, your detention becomes effective immediately. These sessions are mandatory and failure to show up for each and every one of them will be your last strike, Orihara-san. If you do not comply we will have no choice but to expel you.”

Izaya slowly gathers his bearings. “I... understand Principal Akirawa. I appreciate your compassion more than you know. Thank you.” Izaya bows his head respectfully. He bites back the laugh that's bubbling in the back of his throat.

\----------

“You don't need stitches, thankfully the cuts aren't that deep and the bleeding stopped. Just don't mess with it ok? No licking or touching.” Shinra says, inspecting the inside of Izaya’s upper lip where the skin got cut. He presses against Izaya’s teeth with gloved fingers to check if any of them are loose. “Everything else looks to be fine!”

They're at Shinra's place this time after school. Shinra has all his father's medical supplies out on the coffee table in his living room.

“Whatever you say, doc.” Izaya smirks weakly. 

“So? What happened to you, Izaya? I thought you don't get involved with those kinds of things for this exact reason.” He points rudely at his face. He doesn’t sound the least bit concerned, just curious. 

“Are you saying I'm a bad fighter Shinra? Whose side are you on? Besides, I've already gotten what I wanted.”

“Well he did get you pretty good. And wait, you mean the detention? I also don't understand why you're so happy about that. You've been acting very strange lately.” 

“Of course I’m not happy, Shinra,” Izaya scoffs, his smug expression betrays the validity of his words. “I have to spend a whole two months alone with that monster, it's terrible.”

“It doesn’t really _seem_ like you hate the idea. Why get into this much trouble if you hate Sensei?” Shinra asks. He sticks a bandage on the nasty cut and bruises on his cheek and finishes by peeling off his latex gloves and throwing them away. 

Izaya giggles at that. Giggles until he's cackling and it escalates until his whole body is shaking with laughter. His laughs break off with a sharp hiss of pain from stretching his lips too much. He catches his breath and collects himself before sighing. “Oh Shinra, I’m not really in any trouble but I can see why it would look that way to you. Haven't you noticed I do whatever I want around here and they just let me? It's all part of a long game I’m playing with Shizu-chan. That monster is exactly where I want him.” 

Truthfully, Izaya never could have foreseen things ending up this way, but he didn’t say that. His strange outburst of foolishness actually led to his victory. Getting into a fight with someone else, something that didn’t involve Shizuo in any way, was what made him cave? Well, the more Izaya thinks about it, the more it makes sense. He could have saved himself all this trouble if he'd figured it out sooner. 

But something about this is rubbing him the wrong way. Izaya can’t understand why Shizuo stood up for him while he was in trouble. From the way principal Akirawa said it, Shizuo singlehandedly prevented him from getting expelled. The man is brutal and unforgiving, and he isn’t lenient in the least with _any_ of his students. And there's no way he actually believes Izaya was trying to help that student. Akirawa might be eating that up but Shizuo isn't _that_ stupid. Izaya wonders if Shizuo has any plans of his own but he decides it won’t be an issue. He’s going to get what he wanted anyway.

“Are you sure that’s not going to backfire?”

Izaya reclines farther against the back of the couch, lacing his fingers behind his head, perfectly at ease. “Absolutely sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: brief descriptions of blood and mild injuries
> 
> Updates may be less consistent but they won't take forever :p gimme your thoughts!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok phew! I posted this chapter in a rush. Sorry for the wait, I was just stuck and worked on this chapter so slowly I was really starting to hate it lol 
> 
> Fun fact, the entire idea for this fic (the oneshot this is based on) was inspired by two things. A very good scene from the movie Secretary (if you haven't seen it, please watch it, it's so good) and by an actual school in North Carolina that actually offers punishment via paddle instead of sitting through detention. Uh yeah, weird isn't it lol

Izaya spends his two weeks of suspension very occupied. He was a little restless at first but if he's going to spend so much time away from his prize, he's gonna need to stay busy.

Without school, he can wake up early every morning and spend the whole day in the city observing people like he's always wanted to. After some time Izaya feels like he's been renewed. These past few weeks have been terrible for him. But now that he's secured what he wants, it feels like everything is going back to normal, as it should be.

Aside from his suspension being overkill and being apart from Shizuo, the only other setback of it all is his bruised face, externally speaking. He’d prefer not to interact with anyone in person when he looks so weak and pathetic. It's not really that his beating was that bad. It's just that Izaya’s creamy skin bruises far too easily. The bruises he usually gets are from climbing fences and walls when the occasional misstep and subsequent fall happen. And of course from Shizuo. But his face has never received this kind of treatment and it looks terrible. He has to keep gauze pads taped over the outer corner of his brow and ice his lip every night to keep the swelling down. 

The bruises are an unfortunate but necessary reminder of his embarrassing rashness. He hates that he's willing to lower himself so much for a goddamn monster. He's partially sickened with himself for the pitiful person he made himself when he picked that fight. He failed and somehow got what he wanted anyway. Pure dumb luck. It feels nice to win no matter what but Orihara Izaya shouldn’t be getting his way on accident; he cannot make a habit out of this. That's why he's taking this as a valuable lesson, he let his emotions get in the way before and he won't do it again.

But on a baser level, he can't say he hates the bruises themselves. There's a constant throbbing pain that stays with him. It helps him take his mind off of his craving for Shizuo. That being said, it's not an experience he wants to repeat ever again. The kind of pain from getting punched in the face isn't exactly Izaya's thing and definitely doesn't compare the kind of pain Shizuo has given him but it'll have to do as a meager replacement for now until two weeks pass and he can finally have the thing he's been starving for, for weeks on end.

His appearance probably peaked at its worst two days into his suspension. That's when his twin sisters finally noticed it. He walks out of the bathroom after a quick shower early that morning and runs into them. They’re already dressed and packed for school. The bus should be arriving at any moment. Their eyes widen with awe and curiosity when they see the sorry state he’s in. 

“Neh, Iza-nii. Who beat you up? Were you caught by surprise this time?” Mairu giggles. 

“He was jumped,” Kururi posits. 

“I wasn’t.” his tone is clipped. He tries to walk past them to his room.

“Mugged,” Kururi tries again. They both backtrack so they’re still in his way.

“ _No_.”

“So a normal fight? Bo-ring. Maybe go with the mugging story, it sounds better. _Ouch_ , it must have reaally hurt!” Mairu says, bouncing on the balls of her feet and looking at Izaya’s face from all possible angles. “Can I touch one?”

Izaya swats away her probing finger and snaps, “It looks worse than it is, okay? And I did just as much damage.”

Mairu chimes in again. “But iza-nii, what are we supposed to do if you get beat up this easily in a fair fight? How can we expect you to protect us??”

Izaya scoffs and keeps walking, “I’m not wasting my time with this. As if I'd risk myself for the likes of you two anyway.”

“There are a lot of psychos out there that like to prey on cute girls like us. Like we hear on tv right, Kuru-nee?” she turns to her quiet sister. “What if something happens to us! Don’t be so useless Iza-nii.” 

“Please?” Kururi uses the small pleading voice she’s perfected at this point, not that Izaya is at all fooled. And they’ve now gone and blocked entry to his bedroom. He rolls his eyes. He'll be damned if he actually has to spend _time_ with them so he thinks of something quick.

“ _Fine_. You want something to protect you?” He pushes through them to his room and digs through one of his drawers. He hands them a can of mace. “Take it and leave me alone.”

It was a very good move because they immediately become enthralled with it, looking at the label on the can and turning it over in their hands. “So cool, Iza-nii! You aren’t so useless after all,” Mairu gushes. “Let’s go, Kuru-nee.” 

Izaya slams his door shut agitatedly. Those dear little accidents never fail to irritate the hell out of him. He sighs, and closes his eyes, waits for the sound of the front door opening and closing echoing through the empty house before opening his eyes. Finally, some quiet again. Things have been quiet for the most part. His parents haven’t returned yet and won’t for another three weeks. They had called and told him that. "You are not ruining this trip," they said. The longer they take the better if you ask him. 

News of his suspension did little to alarm them like he knew it would, let alone make them return ahead of schedule. They’re away on a month-long business trip to some conference with several other large company representatives, some from overseas. Needless to say, this one is important. Trips this long don’t happen often but they aren’t rare either. His sisters are at their clingiest when their parents are away for these trips.

Izaya supposes he inadvertently forced their return. Mom and dad would be stupid to ignore the school now that he’s almost been expelled; not to mention it would raise some red flags. They committed to a meeting with the principal when they return to officially discuss what should be done with him. 

It wasn't always like this. He was a model student and son up until he was 12. It was easy for him then, but that never meant much to his mother and father. He had long since given up on trying to impress them and he never expected anything to change when his grades started plummeting or when he constantly got in trouble at school. At least they’re consistent, he always thinks and he considers himself lucky. Most kids complain about their parents always meddling in their lives and but Izaya doesn't have that problem, never has. There was a time when they were around more; when they felt like actual people. But he was so young and the memories are like grainy, incomplete fragments of a distant dream you can't quite remember after waking up.

If his parents actually ended up worrying _now_ at this point in his life, he might just drop dead from the absurdity and hilarity of it. 

The reminder that they'll be returning leaves a bad taste in his mouth but he's resolved to enjoy this free time. Aside from having to feed his sisters every now and then, he’s completely free to do whatever he wants during his suspension. Well, not everything, he thinks sourly. He knows this is the alternative to expulsion but _two damn weeks_?? Two weeks without putting a scowl on Shizuo's face or making the vein in his forehead bulge. Were it not for him, Izaya would relish digging his roots deeper with every passing day a little more. That being said, with school out of the way, he has double the amount of free time to cultivate his connections. He gets better at it every day and he's so good at it, that he questions why he still goes to school at all when he’d be much better off dropping out and making a name for himself. 

But he knows why. The only one still insisting on giving Izaya rules and restrictions is his deplorable excuse for a teacher. It's so cute that he thinks he can even try. The unusual and aberrant man that happens to be working at a _high school_ of all places in the world; Izaya's high school no less. He's the only thing associated with the school that he actually looks forward to when the suspension is over.

He can’t say he misses Shizuo but he does miss being in class with him, watching, taunting, and waiting. He almost forgot what that anticipation felt like. And there’s a considerable amount of it currently. Shizuo will be waiting for him two weeks from now, paddle and all. or maybe he’ll use his hands again. he’s certainly won't be picky.

Izaya now has something he didn't have when he had to endure Shizuo's rebuffs at school, another source of pain. Some days when he knows he's alone at home, he lays face down, knees bent, on his bed with a hand between his legs squeezing and tugging his throbbing cock. He purposefully puts his body's weight on his face. He keens loudly from the painful pressure on his bruises as his strokes get faster. 

It's not the same, and his ass feels sorely neglected, but it's better than nothing and it helps when he pictures Shizuo's arm, sleeves rolled up, swinging down on him from behind. Izaya is bent down and immobile, he doesn't know what he'd want Shizuo to say during this, he was never chatty when he paddled him except for the most recent time when he scolded him. There's just something about the way he said those things, made it feel so much better.

His idea worked on a practical level. His pain gets him off so much better than when he's just beating off normally but he still comes out from the afterglow highly dissatisfied and frustrated like he was robbed of something.

When it's not enough, he makes up for their time apart by waiting for Shinra outside the gates of the school when it lets out. Conveniently enough, Shinra is usually one of the last to leave so Izaya has an excuse to stand there among the others on the school grounds and wait for Shizuo to come out. 

Every day Shizuo walks out of the main doors looking like he’s got a bad taste in his mouth. It’s way too hot now for anyone to be wearing a jacket so he’ll usually walk out in just his button-down shirt and the heavy looking messenger bag over his shoulder. 

Aside from his perpetual look of ennui, he seems generally calm until he looks around as if sensing something’s wrong and locks eyes with Izaya. 

Izaya always grins at him over the heads of other students like they’re sharing a secret. Shizuo clenches his jaw, his slightly furrowed brow turns into a stormy scowl, clearly visible despite the distance. He whips his head forward every time and breaks the contact, hastily making his exit. 

Unbothered by this, Izaya continues to watch him shamelessly, looking for all the tells of his rage. Like how increasingly tense Shizuo's shoulders get or how impatient his strides become before disappearing past the other cars. Some days, Izaya really wants to wait by his car when school is over just to talk to him, just to provoke him a little. He wonders what it would be like to "run into" Shizuo in the city. But it would be wise to show restraint for now.

Yes, the result of his fight with Tsukiyama becomes completely obvious to everyone who walks past him while leaving school. But he cares less about his classmates knowing and more about the players in the city. He just wants Shizuo to see what his ‘noble’ actions have caused. The price he paid to get Shizuo back. It’s at its worst in the first week. That's when Shizuo is his most avoidant after spotting him. By Friday, he no longer needs the gauze pads for the cuts and the bruises become far less dramatic. His lip heals quicker than everything else, thankfully.

One week is finally over. Izaya's halfway there now but it seems time has decided to move slower now that he's so close. The following Monday Shizuo walks out with his sleeves rolled up and his hands shoved into his pockets, perhaps to prevent himself from fidgeting for his cigarettes. He always keeps them in his left pocket. Izaya watches him unabashedly, committing his appearance to memory as he makes his way across the square to the lot. From how fixed his gaze on the ground is, Izaya guesses Shizuo is purposefully ignoring him. How annoying. 

Shinra’s voice finally filters into his head. “Come on, already.”

“What?”

“You’re not _staring_ at Heiwajima sensei again are you?” Shinra asks, not bothering to conceal his exasperation. He rests his chin on Izaya’s shoulder from behind looking in his line of sight. “Oh, you are.” 

Izaya fixes him with a glare and shakes him off. “That’s… ridiculous. I’m-” he cuts himself off and thinks carefully about what to say. “I’m _not_ ,” he grits out before shoving past Shinra through the gates.

“Hey wait up! Now you’re in a hurry? This is why you’ve been waiting for me after school all last whole week isn’t it?” 

“If you must know, _yes_. And also, that monster is an open book, I was just watching for weaknesses, nothing more Shinra. Don't get the wrong idea,” Izaya explains calmly now. 

“Right. Of course,” Shinra flashes his boyish smile and Izaya can't help but think he could have handled this moment so much better as his cheeks warm a little. They’re walking side by side now on the side of the road. “You seem to be healing pretty fast, that's good recovery time.”

“Yes, the sooner the better,” Izaya replies shortly. He runs a finger lightly across his tender cheekbone. “So, did I miss anything interesting at school this week?” Izaya changes the subject. 

“Well, we were talking about the parasympathetic nervous system today in class and next week we’re going to dissect-” 

“Ok, I guess I walked right into that one. Forget I asked.” 

“You know, for all this talk about loving humans, shouldn’t you be more interested in their bodies?”

“ _Shinra_ , is that supposed to sound dirty? Who knew you had such a high regard for peoples' bodies,” Izaya says in a mocking hushed voice. 

Shinra shakes his head like it was a good-hearted joke and says, "You're an asshole, Izaya.” His eyes and expression are far from offended. “Not just their bodies, their _biology_. The shell that they live in that keeps them alive?

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Izaya pushes his arms out, palms upturned in a question. “I don’t need to know about cellular respiration or whatever it is you talk about to understand humanity. Sometimes I won't always understand it but that's what makes it more fun to figure out. They’re all so different, so messy.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of brain chemistry, geez Izaya. But anyway, think about it, what if there’s nothing really to understand?” Shinra pauses excitedly like he's about to reveal something amazing. He always gets this way when he starts talking about anything involving medicine or science.

“Of course there is, haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said?” Izaya asks, not even looking at him. 

“yeah but it could all be pointless though; just chemicals in the brain dictating our actions. Eat, sleep, procreate,” Shinra counts his fingers carelessly. “I think people are just animals that evolved to care about trivial things past surviving.”

“You would say such things about me and my humans?”

Shinra laughs lightly, “You’re not exactly a normal person, Izaya. But that's just my opinion. Eh, it doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes your opinion doesn't matter. Hate to tell you, Shinra, but you are wrong about everything. Besides you don’t really have any authority on a subject you hardly care about.”

“Hey, you’re right about that,” Shinra says far too easily. Izaya doesn’t know why this guy insists on playing his friend, he can’t help but get the feeling that he’s faking all of it. He never gets angry or irritated with Izaya’s strange antics and personality. Whereas most people would curl their lip hearing about some of Izaya’s opinions, Shinra nods, and smiles. 

If he looks at it objectively, it does make sense though. Shinra's just as strange as him and doesn’t exactly have any friends either. That he knows of. But it's still… bizarre. 

They reach the part of their walk where they go their separate ways. “See you Monday, Izaya.”

Izaya waves and walks the rest of the way home. 

He doesn’t like to spend too much time at his house for several reasons. Whether because of his sisters or how unbearably empty and lifeless it feels, or the unpleasant memories of his childhood. But it's usually ok if he stays in his room. He decides to spend some time catching up on homework that his teachers gave him ahead of time to make up for his lost time away.

Before, he might have ignored their requests, even Shizuo's, but his last chance would be wasted if he failed out of school because of his grades. It’s tedious work but he finishes it with time to spare. He goes to bed and falls asleep thinking about a familiar growl in his ears, tight holds on his body, brute, rough treatment. He distantly hopes he can keep his voice down when the time comes. He wouldn't want to ruin everything he's worked so hard to build. But what if he really does come next time, damn it. What would Shizuo's expression look like if he saw that? Out of nowhere, he remembers the fearful look on Shizuo’s face after he pulled Izaya out of his fight. _It's so out of place on him_ , he thinks. 

It ruins his dream and his night.

 

\------  


Two weeks have _finally_ reached their end and Izaya can hardly contain his giddiness. Soon he will receive the proverbial beating of his life and he’s going to love it. He’ll have to endure his parents’ presence when they return but he’s gotten used to them a long time ago. His bruises have turned yellow and greenish-brown, one step away from fading to nothing. Things are going well.

Boy, it feels good to be back. He walks airily from class to class when he’s back at school next Monday. He was stared at by many of his classmates and if he didn’t have his eyes set on his treat at the end of the day, he might have bothered to find out the thoughts behind the looks. Curiosity? Awe? Confusion? He has better things to think about right now. Shinra asks again if he's worried at all about detention, clearly still mildly confused by Izaya's positive attitude. Izaya tells him he's not afraid in the least and that the detentions mean nothing to him. “It’s gonna take more than what that brute can dish out to put a dent in me.”

He can’t help the way the corners of his mouth tug upwards when he enters his last class. He doesn’t take his eyes off Shizuo for the entire period. Shizuo, who sticks out like a sore thumb for his anger and his appearance. He, on the other hand, doesn’t look at Izaya one single time. If Izaya didn't know any better, he'd say Shizuo didn't miss him at all. The poor man must be angry about the fact Izaya has forced his hand. 

This will be the first time Shizuo will punish him while being fully aware of Izaya's masochism. It'll surely be an interesting experience. Izaya won't let himself feel awkward about it unless he makes another stupid embarrassing sound. 

The bell rings and the rest of the class is dismissed. Izaya stays seated, not bothering to go to his locker for the rest of his things. He idly puts his notebooks away when they're finally alone again.

Shizuo gives him the first cursory glance of the entire day and then goes back to ignoring him while he tidies up his desk. He hasn’t told him to come up there yet, and he wonders what’s taking him so long. “I’m gonna tell you now. No back talking and no bullshit.”

“That's what you're opening with?" You aren’t going to ask how I’ve been, Shizu-chan? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“I’d be happier going to the dentist, flea.” 

“Ouch. That was just mean, Shizu-chan.”

“I told you before, don’t fucking call me that!” Shizuo barks out, slamming a fist on his desk. Izaya ignores him. 

“I expected to get a much warmer welcome than this. Surely, you’re capable of the social niceties the rest of us are equipped with?”

“Welcome back, you pain in the ass,” he replies tersely.

Izaya chuckles. He watches Shizuo's frown deepen perhaps in regret in his choice of words. He reaches into his desk drawer and Izaya’s heart begins to speed up. But Shizuo doesn't take out a paddle, instead, he brings out a stack of thick folders and carries them to him. Shizuo drops them on his desk.

“What’s this?” Izaya asks flippantly. 

“This is what you’ll be working on while you’re in here with me. I decided to add a little extra to your punishment cause of how serious your recent offense was.” Shizuo explains gruffly. “You’re going to help me grade some tests and-” Izaya cuts him off with a sharp laugh.

“That’s funny Shizu-chan, aha, oh wow,” he giggles, “I never thought I’d see the day you actually admit you’re an incompetent teacher. You’re in desperate need of help, I’m sure, but it’s not exactly my problem is it?” 

Shizuo curls his lip, and his eyes go dark and threatening. Izaya smirks up at him around another laugh and waits, breath catching a little. Shizuo looks away and stares pointedly at the wall behind him for a few seconds like he’s counting backward from ten in his head. His nostrils flare and he looks back down at Izaya. 

“You… You’re going to do it,” he grinds out. “It’s part of your detention and if you don’t then you can sit there and rot for all I care until I decide you can leave, understand?”

Izaya’s smirk vanishes. “How could you stop me? I can just walk out of that door right now if I feel like it. Like I always have.” 

“Ha. You could, except that counts as an unexcused absence which will get you expelled. I know Akirawa-san already explained everything, none of this should be news to you. 

“I showed up, that’s what we agreed on.” Izaya is getting more annoyed by the second; this is not the way things were supposed to end up! He came here for one thing only and expected to get it, not sit around and wade through this paperwork.

“Don’t act cute. You know the deal is that you stay for these fucking detentions.” Shizuo turns on his heel and walks back to his desk. Izaya’s hands curl on his desk and he leans forward. 

“I’m confused,” Izaya says, raising his voice, “am I, or am I not going to actually get a real punishment? I thought you were serious about helping me ‘get better,’ _Sensei_. What happened to that?” 

“I will _never_ do that again. _This_ is what your detention is going to be. You can either stay here or walk out that door and get expelled.” Shizuo jams his finger towards the door.

Izaya freezes in shock. Numbing cold spreads through his body as he's faced with the final truth. All this wait, all this anticipation, it was still all for nothing. For the second time, he's been made into a fool. Heat slowly creeps along his cheeks but he doesn’t realize it until it’s too late and that makes the feeling worse. He stands up and storms for the door in a familiar haze of anger and the ever annoying hint of embarrassment. There’s no point in ever coming back here again. But before he gets the chance to open the door, Shizuo intercepts him quickly and shuts it. 

“Oh no you don’t, bastard. You aren’t fucking this up again for yourself,” he tugs his arm and drags him back to his seat, his grip is so tight it might bruise. The smirk that had left Izaya’s face is back full force. “I take back that back and I'll make myself very clear,” Izaya pulls himself free. “This might be a game to you but it's not. You don't have a choice in this and you aren't going to leave whenever you want. I won’t allow it.”

Izaya snorts, smug as ever. He sits back down and tilts his head coyly. “Should you be making it so easy for me to call your bluffs, Shizu-chan? I think you should work on that. I knew you couldn’t just let me leave.” 

“Just shut up and start that already.” Shizuo signals at the stack of work and returns to his desk.

Izaya eyes the door again but knows any attempts to leave now would be fruitless. He slumps down and crosses his arms.

“Oh, I won’t do it. You said I could just sit here and do nothing so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Shizuo visibly seethes but he plops down at his desk again and continues putting grades up on his computer and looking through older assignments.

“They’ll be there waiting for you tomorrow, then.” 

 

Well, this is amounting to a whole lot of _nothing_. Izaya wants to feel like a fool, an idiot that got carried away again, for thinking he won before even getting to the finish line. He was so sure he had him this time. But this failure is different. He's having more trouble feeling angry about it than last time because of the surprising satisfaction he felt at the revelation that Shizuo won’t let him go. It's clear now that he's lost the war. But somehow it doesn't feel like he has. Maybe this is just one more battle of many to come. 

Izaya weighs his options carefully now that he’s got himself under control. He reasons that if he does get expelled, it would greatly decrease the number of opportunities for Izaya to torment Shizuo and consume every wonderful reaction he gets out of him. He wouldn't want to lose that. Still, he could always just harass him outside of school. Finding out what kind of personal life the beast has could prove to be very amusing, and there are fewer restrictions out there. But he scraps that idea quickly as he doesn't want Shizuo to actually kill him out on the streets. He looks at the man in question who’s engrossed in something on his computer resting his head in his hand. From appearance alone, no one would think he'd be capable of such things. It still baffles him and fascinates him.

Ultimately, who is he to turn down the perfect opportunity to have Shizuo all to himself to toy with? _For months?_. Perhaps this is another gift in disguise. Plus, who’s to say his chances of getting spanked again are gone. All it takes is one really, really bad day. 

Being so lost in his head Izaya doesn’t notice when two hours go by. That seems to be how long Shizuo plans to keep him here every day. Shizuo packs up his things and dismisses him coldly. Izaya is confident he knows which direction he’s going to take tomorrow. But of all the things he considers, he adamantly refuses to think about Shizuo’s reasons for keeping him here. He has a few vague guesses but he carefully locks them away in the back of his mind. It’s not important. 

“I expect you to be here tomorrow, Izaya.”

It’s definitely not important.

\----

The next day during his lunch period, Shinra asks him how it went. Izaya knows what he means by that question. Lying is an option he often goes with but instead he tells the truth. “Nothing happened. The coward couldn’t do anything.” He can’t bring himself to pretend to be happy about that.

“Holy crap! That’s amazing, how did you get him to stop?” 

“By playing him of course, just like I always planned to,” he says like he's trying to get the conversation over with. So much for the honest route.

“That’s very vague but ok. It must have been something huge if it got someone like Sensei to stop.”

Izaya is unpleasantly reminded of the embarrassing cry he released when Shizuo spanked him. “Creatures like Shizu-chan are very easily manipulated since they don’t have much going on upstairs Shinra. It was a piece of cake.” Ha. If only. 

“Still, though. It sucks you have to stay after school every day. Maybe you should have focused your efforts on that.” Shinra chuckles. Izaya rolls his eyes.

“ _Thanks, Shinra._ You’re so much help.” Izaya says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I try!” he grins.

“I might not even go back, honestly.”

“Didn’t you say you’d get expelled if you don’t?” Shinra furrows his brow.

“Yeah but,” he waves his hands around, “I don’t really need school anymore. I’ve already learned everything I need to. I don’t think it’d be such a big deal.”

“You should probably think that through all the way. But what do I know?”

“Shinra, don’t act like that. You could drop out too and not have it hurt you in the least. You’re pretty much set because of your father.” 

“It’s true, but if I’m going to get an honest job, I need an actual degree.”

“Then don’t get an honest job,” Izaya leans in with a sly grin.

“You’re a terrible influence! We’ll see where the road takes me. You really should stay though, what'll I do here when you're gone?”

“Find new friends, duh.” 

They hear the bell ring through the roof access door and Izaya gets up to leave. One more class before Shizuo’s.

“Actually, there is this new friend I’ve made-”

“Tell me about it later, I can’t be late now that I’m trying to be a good student. See ya.” He bids farewell.

Shinra rolls his eyes at being interrupted but he goes back to writing letters in his notebook. He waves without looking as Izaya leaves. 

He has trouble sitting through biology. Partly, it’s because they’re now reviewing for a test on the unit that he missed two weeks of. But he already finished all the homework from those entire two weeks all in one day, so it’s agonizing to sit through the completely useless information being rehashed. Not to mention, they’d be performing a dissection tomorrow Shinra wasn’t joking around. 

And the other reason, of course, is the anticipation. Why does he still feel it? Shizuo was very clear and firm in his decision to never spank him again. There is absolutely no reason why such a feeling would linger, knowing full well there’s nothing to expect anymore.

He won’t dwell on it. There’s no point going in circles in his mind if he can’t figure it out on his own and he also wants to make sure he has fun making Shizuo uncomfortable and irritated. Maybe that's all he's excited about.

Biology is thankfully over and done with and he can head to his final class of the day. He moves swiftly through the halls, not paying attention to anyone. He walks past Shinra at his locker who at this point knows that trying to get Izaya's attention while heading to Shizuo's class would be pointless. 

He walks in with a neutral expression though it turns cold when he sees Shizuo distracted by one of his classmates, one of the brown nosers that is. They’re the only ones aside from himself that aren’t afraid to approach Shizuo, except they approach him with questions and requests for feedback. Izaya sits down in his seat and stares icily at the two talking inaudibly until the student goes back to their seat and Izaya can get a good look at Shizuo today. 

As class goes on, he watches him with undivided attention. He’s scratching his head more than usual and his hands twitch towards his pockets sometimes when they’re close to his lap. It’s not obvious at all but Izaya is good at looking closely. He’s teetering and Izaya wants to give the last helpful nudge over the edge. 

Shizuo is in the middle of a lecture, explaining the text they’re reading, when Izaya shouts loudly, startling everyone including Shizuo, “SHIZU-CHAN!”

Shizuo jumps a little to Izaya’s delight. He should really wipe the taunting grin off his face but he can’t, it was so hilarious. Shizuo snaps to him with sharp, threatening eyes. He gets stares from everyone around the room but they quickly flit to their teacher for his reaction.

Izaya smiles even though he knows he won’t push it any further. But Shizuo waits, daring Izaya to try something else. Izaya says, “Sorry, I just had a question.”

“What,” Shizuo snaps. 

“Oh uhm… I forgot. Sorry,” he squints in a poor attempt at looking sheepish. Shizuo growls but he forces out the rest of the lecture to the class ignoring the grin still on Izaya's face. The rest of the class, however, look at each other in shock at what took place. Perhaps they were thinking that someone finally tamed Shizuo, when really that couldn't be farther from the truth. He couldn't control his actions anymore.

When the bell rings, Izaya gathers his things and strides confidently past Shizuo’s desk. He spares him a cheerful glance before saying, “See ya, Shizu-chan.”

“Listen,” the harshly spat out word makes Izaya pause, “Detention starts at 3:00, you have 15 minutes to get back here _on_ time. 

_Or else_ , he doesn't have to say. Izaya leaves. He goes to his locker to pack the rest of his stuff and carefully thinks hard about what he’ll do next. He thinks he already knows anyway but there’s always a little more time for impulsive ideas. He walks around the school going in no direction, in particular, waiting for 3:00 pm to come and go. As 2:55 comes around, Izaya thinks he should maybe go back. A different part of him wants to get there late, just to spite him but it’s a risk he’d prefer not to take. 

It reads 2:58 on the hallway clocks now as he walks to Shizuo’s classroom as slowly as possible, refusing to come back until the last minute. He pictures Shizuo reading the clock every few seconds, he’s jumpy enough today for that to be a possibility. 

Time is up and he’s right there at the door. Shizuo's back is turned to him, standing by the window looking down at the students streaming out of the building. Sensing someone there, he turns around sharply and stares at Izaya in surprise.

“Don’t look so shocked,” Izaya teases but Shizuo seems not to hear him. His surprise turns into something else Izaya doesn’t recognize for a second. He looks relieved. Izaya ignores all the questions and objections flying around in his head and sits down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think?? Apologies for being so late and also if this chapter seemed off for those that read it when it came out, it's been edited and finalized.
> 
> The next chapter, maybe even the next two chapters probably won't take as long because they're partially drafted already but after that, updates will be inconsistent again.
> 
> Stay tuned! Thanks for sticking with this fic.
> 
> EDIT 1/10/18 Hi guys I feel terrible for making you wait this long but I don't want to rush chapters and have them be really shitty. This fic is NOT dropped, don't worry, it's still in progress. I'm just taking really long to do it :c You will have it some time in the future, also if you haven't, please re-read chapter 5 there are some pretty important updates and changes to it (kinda).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo begins the grueling task of keeping Izaya in detention and Izaya never backs down. (Heavily dialogue oriented)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow um so I'm appalled with myself at how long I took to write this chapter. I'm very sorry for that. It's not a trend I want to continue. It was very hard for me to write this chapter, I knew I needed to write it though for the sake of the plot and stuff though so I forced myself to do it. The next chapter is already drafted for the most part whereas I had to write this one from scratch. It was SUPPOSED to get uploaded Saturday but I was hit by a stomach bug and my attention left me. 
> 
> One other thing! If you haven't already please re-read chapter 5, I've added some semi-important changes to it and if you want Izaya getting sexual you'll go read it hehe
> 
> Happy belated birthday to Shizuo! Here's everyone's present on his behalf xD please enjoy~

There’s a silence at first. It’s the strangest thing he’s ever experienced with the infamous faculty member. Shizuo returns to his desk stiffly like he wasn’t just waiting by the window watching and waiting for Izaya to leave through the front gates. 

Izaya watches him with a smirk but doesn’t comment on his behavior. He makes a point of disregarding the stack of folders left on his desk though to see if Shizuo says something about it but he remains silent for a few moments. The last thing he expects is Shizuo opening with-

“Thanks for… showing up,” he says roughly, like he's annoyed he is doing this. 

Izaya blinks, briefly stunned by him. He giggles. “You’re trying _that_? You don't actually think playing nice will get me to do this work do you?” he asks incredulously.

“You will do it.” Shizuo responds oddly calm, like he's certain it's going to happen. 

“No, Shizu-chan,” he moves the pile to another desk, “I won't. “

“If you're not going to do what I tell you, then how about you answer a few questions?”

“Questions?” Izaya repeats. 

“Tell me why you got into that fight.” It sounds more like an order than a request. Of all things to ask, why this? How random. But since Shizuo’s been in the habit of subverting Izaya’s every expectation at every turn, he shouldn't even be surprised. 

Izaya smirks. “Didn’t you hear? I wanted to save that poor boy from being bullied. I'm something like a hero around here now.”

Shizuo deadpans.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Sensei. Really, I was just trying to help,” he insists. Shizuo won’t believe him though, not while Izaya says all this with a glint in his eye and the widest shit-eating grin ever.

“I’m waiting for you to answer me for real, shithead.”

“Sensei, what other reason could there possibly be?” Izaya asks in a reasonable tone and drawling out ‘Sensei’. He couldn’t care less about what they’re talking about but he is having fun taunting Shizuo.

“Cut the shit you snot-nosed brat. I am not kidding around,” Shizuo assures him.

“I was already questioned about this, though,” Izaya knits his brows in confusion though his grin still hasn't left. “Don’t you know? I told Akirawa-san everything that happened just like you did.” 

Shizuo bristles at that. Both of them know he didn’t. Akirawa didn’t bother asking for Izaya’s side of the story first and stupidly fed him everything his dear professor had told him. 

Izaya smirks sweetly at him, tilting his head. “There’s nothing more to say. You know the whole story.”

“You and I both know that ‘story’ is a fucking lie.”

Izaya laughs boisterously at Shizuo’s unexpected honesty, actually caught off guard. Shizuo grimaces and his shoulders hunch as if the sound grates his ears. Izaya settles down and sighs lightly. “Ok _fine_ , Shizu-chan. It was a means to an end. I thought I already made it perfectly obvious that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want. Didn't you notice that by now?”

“No, that story isn’t true either.”

Izaya raises his eyebrows curiously and smiles, “what about it isn't true, Shizu-chan?” 

“You would have had that fight right outside my classroom if that were true. Instead I found you two dicking around in the hall by the cafeteria, out of pure chance. I think I’ve endured enough of your ploys to know how to tell the difference.”

Izaya’s good mood is beginning to sour but he’s careful to keep his airy attitude in place. Shizuo isn’t supposed to be this damn insightful? 

“What does it matter if I planned it or not?” Izaya shrugs. “I still got in trouble either way, which is what I wanted. It means it had nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me, brat. That’s why I’m responsible for all the crazy shit you’ve done. That makes it my business to know.” 

“Wait, I’m confused. You just said that my fight had nothing to do with you, and now you’re saying the opposite? Forgive me, Sensei but that makes no sense. Are you feeling alright? Have you been working yourself too hard? Wait…” his eyes widen as if he had a sudden revelation. His smile broadens, “Are you –are you really more upset that I did something bad and it had nothing to do with you this time?” He smiles wryly, “wow, and here I thought _I_ was self-centered.” 

“That’s not what I said,” Shizuo barks but Izaya is only getting started.

“But it is isn’t it? Did you grow fond of all the attention I gave you Shizu-chan? Aww,” he pouts in mock pity. “You must have been so jealous.”

Shizuo slams his hands on his desk and stands up. “Quit that! I know what you’re trying to do, you sneaky fuck. It isn’t going to work.”

“Really? It usually works.” 

“Stop jumping around the subject and tell me what’s going on Izaya-kun. Tell me why you’ve been so damn reckless. It’s getting ridiculous.” He’s looking him dead in the eye. He looks determined, not angry. 

“So that’s what you want to know. Did I miss something here? Since when do you care about me being ‘reckless’? I am just fine, thank you very much. _Except_ ,” he adds on as if just remembering, “I seem to have this behavior problem that you don’t seem to be taking seriously. So I suggest that if you want that recklessness to stop, stick to what you know best: yelling and breaking and hitting. Because the pathetic counselor act is not working for you, at all.”

Shizuo is showing teeth now. The tips of his ears are flushed red. “Watch your fucking mouth, Izaya. You’re really pushing it. Why is this so important to you!”

This conversation is no longer fun. Izaya isn’t going to keep playing. “Why are you overthinking this so much? You know you don’t have to think past your quota for the day right?” 

“ _Izaya_!”

“ _Shizuo!_ ” Izaya mimics. Shizuo’s eyes widen briefly in shock at Izaya’s brief immaturity and the use of his first name. 

“God _damn_ it you are insufferable!” Shizuo yells through clenched teeth. He abruptly stands up and stomps out of the room. Izaya watches him slightly alarmed but Shizuo doesn't leave, he stays outside the door pacing. Izaya rolls his eyes. Just what he needs, Shizuo still trying so hard to be normal.

He shakes his head and looks at the stack of assignments on his desk, then at Shizuo, and back at the pile. His lips curve as he takes them to the cracked open window. By the time Shizuo sees and runs inside to stop him, Izaya has managed to throw out a good week’s worth of assignments giggling happily all the while. 

“Stop!” Shizuo yanks Izaya’s hands back and saves the rest of the pile but the damage is done. He helplesspy watches the unlucky pages float and flutter all the way down to the grounds of the school. He slowly turns to Izaya, his eyes brimming with contempt, ready to snap at any second. The papers in his hands crumble easily under the force of his grip. Izaya grins with cruel amusement.

“If you even say just one, more, word-”

Izaya steps right up to him, and tilts his head up defiantly. Shizuo may tower over him in height but Izaya isn’t intimidated at all, “What? What will you do?”

Shizuo is slightly taken aback by his brazenness but his glare doesn't falter. Neither of them move an inch for several moments. Shizuo slowly eases his grip on the papers in his hands and takes a deep breath, brows furrowed deeper with exertion, as he rubs at his eyes with a single hand. “I’m sick of this.”

Izaya watches in disappointment as Shizuo pulls himself back together. It’s not fair. It feels like yet another betrayal. He’s about to back down like a coward and turn away but Izaya yanks his arm back around. It's the first time in his life he put his hands on a teacher. “No, you answer _me_ now. I just disobeyed you. So what are you going to do about it?" Izaya demands incessantly. 

Shizuo yanks his arm back viciously. “We're going to finish this conversation another time. Get back to your seat.” He backs away from Izaya turning around to smooth out the papers. He stands there, shoulders still tense. 

“Nothing but empty threats,” Izaya spits disdainfully. “What happened? You've become truly pathetic. Grow some balls for god’s sake.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Shizuo bellows. Izaya is thrilled at how easy it is to flip his switch. He’s utterly carried away by it.

“No, thanks.”

“Sit your ass down, _now_!” His voice gets so loud it shakes Izaya to his bones.

“ _No!_ ” Izaya fires back harder. 

“Do. It.” There’s a threat in his eyes and Izaya invites it.

“Make me,” he says evenly. His pulse jumps when Shizuo actually comes back and drags him directly to his seat. Izaya couldn't stop him even if he tried. His blood pumps hot through his veins when he's forced to sit, knees giving out under the pressure of Shizuo’s hand pushing down on his shoulder. The _desperate need_ for that pressure to be on the back of his neck, bending him over, and keeping him down overwhelms him. He almost trembles at the thought. 

For the first time he's painfully aware of how much influence Shizuo could have on him if he really understood what he had over Izaya. Thank god he's an idiot. Shizuo bends down to get in his face and any thoughts in his head die immediately. 

“You sit right here and don’t dare fucking move. If you ever damage any of my shit again, I’ll get the principal to add mandatory custodial duty to your detention. Are we clear?”

Izaya can’t tear his eyes away from the smoldering fire in Shizuo’s eyes. He forgets he’s supposed to give a response. Shizuo repeats himself with each syllable emanating authority.

“Are. We. Clear?”

“Shouldn’t you be getting those assignments right now? The wind might blow them away and you'll lose them forever,” Izaya says conversationally. But his heart is pounding and Shizuo’s face still hasn’t changed so he’s committing all the details of Shizuo’s expression to memory. His cheeks feel warm.

“Oh you'd like that wouldn't you? Let me worry about that, louse.” Shizuo straightens up and Izaya hates the way he instantly relaxes the moment he walks away. 

“If you’re worried about leaving me alone in your classroom, there’s no need. I’ll wait right here while you get those assignments, I promise!” Izaya says with a hand on his heart. 

Shizuo ignores him much to his irritation and continues to ignore him for the rest of detention until he releases him at 5:15. Izaya sulks the whole the time. 

“Go home. And just so you know, our conversation isn't over. I'm going to keep asking until I get something out of you. Unless you start grading those papers that is.”

“Good luck,” Izaya flashes a grin that doesn't reach his eyes and he leaves. 

Who does that moron think he is? Izaya liked him so much better when he was a pretty face who had one default emotion, anger. He was so simple then. Even after Shizuo has asserted that he'll never hit him again, he couldn't leave Izaya be. 

He'll humor his professor and let him indulge in his savior fantasies since they’ll ultimately result in failure. Really, it’ll be Izaya who will be indulging himself. The man is a goldmine of untempered rage and he plans to take full advantage of that while he can. He doesn’t go home right away. He waits for Shizuo to exit the building and watches him pick up every page off the ground one by one.

\----------

Izaya eats out and then goes home. His sisters are doing something together on the couch, he doesn’t see what because he goes straight to his room. He sits on his bed in the dark and tries to find anything else online about his professor. He most likely lives in the city and with that temper and strength, has to have made quite a presence at least once, maybe when he was younger. But just like he'd said to Shinra there was nothing but vague rumors and hardly anything concrete.

The week already got off to a bad start when Shizuo refused Izaya yet again. Then, Shizuo unexpectedly grows some urgent need to intrude on Izaya’s personal business. 

But Izaya can see now that things can get worse from there. In a day's time they would have to perform a dissection in biology. He heard other students talking about it earlier who’d had the class in the morning. Shinra wasn't messing around.

Izaya can hardly stand gore in movies, let alone see a real dead thing. It turns his stomach and reminds him of his own eventual fate. He once saw roadkill in his neighborhood when he was younger and couldn't get the image out of his head for weeks. And they expect him to cut a frog open himself. 

He didn't plan on skipping any classes so soon after his suspension, but he doesn’t hesitate. Screw biology. Screw Raira Academy. He'll be better off dropping out and never coming back. But for now he just walks to the farthest bathroom in the west hall which will take him to the roof. _It isn't necessary for my learning,_ he thinks needlessly to himself as he enters the bathroom before classes resume. He waits for the halls to empty out to avoid running into teachers. Shizuo is the only one that would prove to be a problem of course but he's in the middle of a class at this time, so it'll be alright.

He waits there a little longer than he should. He’s suddenly reminded of the fateful day he rushed into one of these after Shizuo took his punishment a step further. It isn't the same stall exactly but they’re all identical anyway. He remembers how it was the closest he’s gotten to coming without being touched. At the time, it was so fresh in his mind and _on his ass_ that it left him weak in the knees and trembling against the stall wall while he climaxed. 

He stares at the stall now with an immense feeling of dejection. He'll never get that feeling back and he almost hates Shizuo for taking it away. 

When it's time to leave he makes his way to his destination. He sneaks past a copier room quick and quiet as he can in case anyone’s inside and he thinks he's in the clear until he turns a corner and slams into the last person he wanted to see. Shizuo might as well be a brick wall because it causes Izaya to stumble back. 

They both look startled for a moment, but Shizuo recovers first. He narrows his eyes and frowns. “Izaya-kun” Shizuo growls. He has him pressed against the lockers in seconds. “Don't you have class?!”

“Well I was just-”

“You know what's at stake, don't you? You already know I lied for you and you're still willing to risk everything just to skip one fucking class?” Shizuo’s eyes are aflame with anger again but it's not the same vengeful hatred he saw yesterday. Izaya curls his lip.

“I don’t owe you _anything_ ,” he says defensively.

Shizuo returns the sneer. “Yeah, well neither do I,” he says lowly and starts pulling him by the arm in the direction Izaya came from. 

“Wait, Shizu-chan–” 

“Tch. You still have the nerve to call me that in the position you're in.”

Izaya tries to plant his feet but it's useless. Shizuo just keeps walking and Izaya has no alternative besides walking with him or being dragged. The closer they get to his biology class, the more anxiety he feels. Damn, the brute is really going to make him say it. Why did he have to run into him?

“Stop, I-I really don't want to be in biology today.” 

“I've heard it all before, brat. Save it,” he doesn’t even spare him a glance as he continues to pull him along. 

_I hate you so much_ , he yells in his head. He has to convince Shizuo somehow, what should he say? He loathes to tell the truth but it just might be his only way out. _Just get it over with, just swallow your pride and get it over with._

“Listen to me! I… I don't…They're dissecting frogs today and –I don't want to…” Izaya confesses like there are rocks in his mouth, then even quieter says, “I _really_ don't want to be there…around that.” Curse Shizuo, ever since his last real detention, Shizuo has taken every chance to humiliate and demean him.

Shizuo stops walking at last and silence stretches between them. He finally turns around, “Are you telling the truth?”

“Yes,” Izaya grits out, containing a sigh of relief. Shizuo stares back shrewdly for a couple of moments and Izaya feels like the ant under the magnifying glass for once. 

“It upsets you.”

“Do I really need to draw it out in little pictures for you, idiot?” Izaya says irately, trying to pull free. 

The hand on his wrist tightens dangerously. “Don't push me, unless you want me to take you back. Because I can and I will.” His eyes flit down briefly, “you know you can get out of those kinds of things with a signed form from your parents right?”

Shouldn't he just be taking him straight to class or the office by now? Izaya sighs impatiently through his nose. “That's not really an option for me, ok? _Don't_ make me go back.” He orders, refusing to say please.

Shizuo’s eyes soften and Izaya has to look away. It's the second time he's seen that look and it confuses him profusely. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Shizuo look down in thought, a soft crease forming between his brows. “I can't just let you skip class. There are rules,” he reminds Izaya who grandly rolls his eyes. Shizuo ignores it. 

“But look, I can do this instead. I'll take you to the office and you’ll stay there for the rest of this period. Rather than it go on your record, your punishment will be extra time in detention today.”

“Because my record isn't already past saving. My hero,” Izaya swoons sarcastically. Of course he had an ulterior motive for helping. He just wanted more time interrogating Izaya in detention. God how _infuriating_ he is. 

“It’s past saving when you get expelled.” Shizuo frowns sternly at him and asks, “is it ok to let go of you or are you going to try and run?”

Izaya smirks and shrugs flippantly. Shizuo grumbles and decides to keep the tight grip on his uniform as they walk to the office. Izaya wasn't really planning on running away though.

\----------

He supposes he should be thankful Shizuo cut him a little slack, he was prepared to do anything to get out that class, but his mercy did not come without a price. Two extra hours in detention; he doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Despite how much yesterday sucked, there were moments Izaya was close again to what he used to feel back when Shizuo used the paddle, the wild beating in his heart, the prickling heat on his skin, and there’s an unbelievable itching want that he thought he might never get to experience again. It was the expression on Shizuo’s face when he sat him down forcefully in his seat that did it. 

Shizuo’s sudden interest in his personal business is a disappointing setback, but Izaya might be able to gain the upper hand in some way if he continues to push him.

Shizuo drops him off at the empty detention room in the office to be watched by a stout middle aged woman who always wearing a perpetual look of suspicion every time he sees her. And he sees her a lot with the reputation he has. Izaya casually kicks back his feet on his desk and smirks at the woman but Shizuo snaps his fingers at him and makes him take his feet down. He puts them back up after he leaves and the woman pointedly ignores him as she shuffles through paperwork. He’s _supposed_ to do makeup work but he doesn't touch it. 

When it’s time, he’s escorted to his last class of the day. Thankfully he’s one of the first there. He usually tries to be the very first but things have been too irregular lately, _he’s_ been irregular. Shizuo’s still sitting at his desk and Izaya wills himself to ignore the nagging memory of what happened earlier. Izaya approaches him with a well-meaning smile and leans over him.

“Hi.” Shizuo looks up apprehensively through his brows, not lifting his head. “I was just wondering if you managed to find all those papers I dropped yesterday. It’d be a shame if some of the students didn’t get their assignments back.”

Shizuo only glares, his jaw clenched tight. But he slowly lifts his head and looks away. He calls over another student who had just walked in. “Sonohara-san, please come here. I wanted to talk to you about your essay.”

Izaya curves his lip in a smirk, and backs into his seat. Fine, let him be that way. He can let him keep some semblance of control during class. It’s the merciful thing to do now that Izaya has decided to save all of his attitude for later. He can hardly wait. 

He pays the lectures no mind but Shizuo doesn’t do anything about it. Once class gets dismissed, he’s sitting there nodding off in his palm. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. He was plagued by Shizuo’s strange interrogation and what they might mean. 

“Izaya,” a loud clasp rings out by his ear, “wake up, it’s not naptime.” 

Izaya jolts in his seat just to be dramatic. “Uh? Oh thank god, class is finally over. I thought it would never end.” Shizuo rolls his eyes where he stands in front of Izaya, towering over him in the way Izaya likes. He loves being in close proximity to him. Hopefully today will be filled to the brim with threats and aggression and not placating eyes. 

“Too bad you have detention right after,” Shizuo says, continuing to stand by him. Izaya notices the same stack of folders as yesterday when Shizuo lays them out on Izaya's desk. He clears his throat, “How...how did it go earlier? I hope the supplementary material that was given to you was enough.”

Izaya stares at Shizuo like he just grew a second head. “I didn’t do it,” he scoffs.

Shizuo frowns. “You better do it! By tomorrow at the latest or else you will have to do the real thing. I already spoke with your biology professor.”

“Why did you do that?” Izaya asks with a lilt in his voice. He doesn’t think about the implications of this or any of the other odd changes in Shizuo’s actions.

“Because you’re not failing on my watch, flea. I’m not going to have you held back so I’ll have to keep seeing your despicable face one more year.”

Izaya laughs heartily at that. The idea sounds hilarious. He imagines staying another year just to spite Shizuo, what a riot that would be. Not that he’d bother wasting an extra year of his life in school.

“I’m looking forward to it actually.”

Shizuo clenches his jaw and his throat works like he’s kept himself from saying something rash. Izaya raises an eyebrow and Shizuo takes a deep breath. “Are you going to do as I say this time?”

“If you’re asking me again to be your lapdog, I graciously refuse.” He flashes a facetious smile and props his feet atop his desk. “I’ll be fine right here.” 

“Put your fucking feet down,” Shizuo growls and shoves Izaya’s feet off the table with enough force to swing his whole body sideways but the action also sends all the folders scattering to the floor. Izaya’s smile widens and a giggle escapes him for a mere second before Shizuo grunts angrily and yanks him to his feet by the front of his shirt. 

“Hey, hey, it wasn’t my fault that time,” he raises his hands in surrender but there’s nothing he can do about the obscene grin and the snickering laughs. They are almost nose to nose and Shizuo looks downright prepared to commit murder. He casts his eyes down at him and back up, then pushes him back to his seat. 

“You’ll clean that up this time,” he says stepping back folding his arms. “But later. We have things to discuss.” 

“No we do not Shizu-chan.” Like hell he's trying this again. 

“Then you'll do the work?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not going to stop asking. You can talk to me, just like you did earlier,” He adds much softer and the calm from before infects his gaze once again.

“Earlier?? That was just a lie I told you just to get out of class and you stupidly believed it. Sorry if you thought we shared a moment.” The gentleness that had warmed Shizuo’s eyes wilts away and is replaced by hardness. Good.

“You looked scared shitless to me, flea. You’re not that good an actor.”

“You’ll believe what you want to believe,” Izaya shrugs and shakes off the irritation creeping under his skin.

“Just stop this already. Seriously. Talking to me won't be as bad as you think. Tell me what happened the day of the fight.”

“I already told you there’s nothing left to say! I felt like getting into a fight so I did. I wanted to get in trouble so I did.”

“You’re smart, Izaya. A lot smarter than that.” Izaya balks at him, his mouth is open, ready to spill contempt and vitriol but he can’t actually think of anything to say. “Something's going on with you and I’ve waited too long to really do something about it. If you tell me, I can-”

Izaya finally finds his voice, “you can do what? Even if there was anything to tell, I wouldn’t say anything to _you_. You’re the last person on earth I’d ever talk to after what you did.” 

It strikes a different cord than Izaya expected. Shizuo is speechless, his eyes go wide and fearful, the same as they were when he pulled Izaya from that fight. The sight of it strikes fleeting rage through Izaya. Why? He’s supposed to be angry, hateful, not _scared_. 

But no. He should also be afraid. He _should_ feel guilty for abandoning him, for relegating him to the ordinary, average students. Shizuo stutters and takes a seat in the chair across Izaya’s desk. He speaks quietly.

“I –that was…I’m so sorry. I’m making things right.”

“Is that what you’re trying to do Shizu-chan?” He essentially abandons him, leaves him without the only pleasure he’s ever wanted for himself and he thinks he can apologize for it while continuing to deny him it? Izaya isn’t surprised by Shizuo’s illogical thinking but maybe this is the chance he's been waiting for. He leans forward, speaking gently as well and places a hand on Shizuo’s forearm, Shizuo tenses. “You really want to help?” 

Shizuo looks surprised and he nods slowly. 

“I don’t know how many times I have to say it but if you want to ‘make things right,’ if you want things to get better, then stop holding _back_. Just punish me again and everything will be fixed.” 

“Wait, _what_? Hold on-” he pulls away.

“That’s exactly what I thought. You’re weak now. You don’t have the guts to solve our problems using real force so you waste my time and pretend it’s in _my_ best interest.” 

“That’s not it at all. And I’m not apologizing for _stopping_ , what are you-” Shizuo looks frustrated and confused, like he missed a very important piece of the conversations and was trying to catch up. 

“I trusted you Sensei. I trusted you to follow through with your disciplinary duties, I trusted you to do your job correctly. But here we are. You should be sorry about _that_.” 

“You have no idea what you're talking about,” Shizuo stands up and steps closer, temper flaring. 

“I don't? _I don’t?_ ” Izaya stands too and raises his voice. How dare he say such a thing when Izaya’s never felt so betrayed since he was a child? 

“I'm doing what's best for you,” Shizuo matches him in volume.

Izaya laughs loud and harsh. “You're doing what's best for me? What makes you think you know anything about me you idiot?” 

“Nothing! I don't have a clue how to deal with you!” Shizuo shouts, gesturing angrily with his arms. “I don’t know a thing about you, that’s why I want you to tell me. The only thing I do know for certain is what I was doing before didn’t work at all.”

“It did work. It did work, you imbecile. I stayed out of your way for weeks until–”

“Until you decided to get in trouble again _on purpose_. Usually fucking a lot of things up in the process or risking your own well-being.”

“If that’s your problem, so be it. You want a signed agreement? I can do that.” Izaya’s whole demeanor changes. His posture is inviting, expression friendly. “Every couple of weeks, if I get _real_ detention with you, I'll be the perfect student. The best one you’ve ever had, no more dangerous stunts. How does that sound?” Izaya smiles charmingly. 

“I already said I’m not doing that again,” Shizuo growls, “the only thing left is to talk.” 

“I’d rather get expelled. Actually, I can’t think of anything sweeter right now.” 

“Stop lying to me, ok kid? You remember when I pulled you from that fight and asked if you wanted to be thrown out of school? I saw the look on your face that day, and you said _no_.” 

That idiot. Who asked him to be so god damn observant at the worst moments? He never noticed how horny Izaya got whenever he was punished all those times but he notices shit like this?? Shizuo seems so sure of himself too, like there's no doubt in his mind he is lying now. Izaya was weak when he said that, he was at rock bottom so to speak. It held no validity. Izaya forces a laugh.

“I was lying,” he says, simply.

“Why would you lie about that?”

“I lie about everything.” 

Shizuo tilts his head to the side and gives him another knowing look. “That’s bullshit.”

“What does it matter?!” Izaya snaps, at the peak of his frustration. Shizuo is usually dismissive, he's never the one to push Izaya’s own buttons. “I don’t care what you believe to be true, none of it concerns you!” 

“Why does it matter? It doesn’t _concern_ me? It matters because all the crazy shit you’ve been doing makes me worried sick, you idiot!” Shizuo rages back.

The force and resolve in which he says it does something to Izaya’s insides, specifically making them plummet in… fear. His jaw drops. He tries to scoff but it comes out more like a weak cough. The words slowly register in his mind through the clammy shock. 

“Worried?” he squeaks. “ _Worried?_ ” he repeats, giggling hysterically. “Did you just say you were worried about me?”

Shizuo looks endearingly confused. “Yes! I'm being serious-” he’s cut off by Izaya’s sharp laughter. 

Shizuo would presume to convince him that he worries, that he _cares_ about him? He would honestly have the nerve? It was one thing for Izaya to make cryptic jabs about the notion of it. But hearing the words come out of Shizuo himself is something entirely different. Something he won’t accept. He doesn’t mind being used by others, he uses people all the time, it’s all part of the fun. But it's false kindness like this that he can't tolerate. Izaya has made mistakes before but where matters like this are concerned, he is no fool.

“Don't get the stories in your head mixed up. You hate me. Always have. Your job was to teach me and punish me and you couldn't even do either of those things." He laughs breathily but he hears how cruel his voice sounds, already going way beyond the threshold of emotion he allows himself to display. “Now you expect me to believe you’re worried about me?!” Why is Shizuo so infuriating right now? The single second of fear he felt was drowned in anger. He needs to get out of here. Before Shizuo can respond, Izaya makes it all the way to the door.

“Izaya? Oi!” Shizuo, a tower of a man, doesn’t need to take as many steps and easily stops him from sliding the door open. Izaya feels a pang of faint panic when he doesn’t make it. “I meant what I-”

“I’m saving you the trouble of dealing with me. Let me out,” he says evenly, feeling like he’s hanging on his last thread of sanity. 

“I’m not going to do that,” Shizuo says. And it snaps.

“What, so you would have me be your prisoner here? Boy am I in fear for my life. What do you think the police will think about you keeping me here against my will? What if I was trying to escape because you tried to attack me? Everyone knows your temper knows no bounds after all. All it would take is a couple of bruises. You know what? I think I’m calling for help,” Izaya strides to the window and pokes his head out as far as he can and yells at the top of his lungs, “Help! Help! He’s finally snapped and trying to kill me!” 

“Izaya!” Shizuo shouts, but he can’t get a word in, Izaya isn’t listening and can’t really hear anything but his own voice and the sound of water filling his ears as he shouts like a madman. He's acting irrational again, he knows. If he actually feared for his life he’d just use his cellphone to call for help. But all he wants is to be far away from here. Shizuo tears him away from the windows carefully. “Calm _down!_ ”

Izaya recoils from him as if burned, “No! You don’t want to get anywhere near me right now, Shizu-chan,” Izaya threatens with a brittle laugh. “I’d rather get expelled or you fired than stand here and tolerate your deluded self-important attempts to feel like a good person and make up for what a monster you are. What does my face tell you now? I mean it. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me this time. One way or another I’ll find a way.” Shizuo doesn't move an inch as if to not startle him, like Izaya is some cornered animal. He feels like one. He’s talking a mile a minute and can’t stop it, totally losing it in front of Shizuo, who’s never seen him act like this before.

“What the fucks gotten into you, Izaya-kun?” Izaya rolls his eyes in disgust, words are coming out and he’s distantly recognizing the feeling of recklessness he had when he picked his fight with Tsukiyama. His words are unfiltered, he only sees red. 

“You think I don't know what you're doing? Do you think because I’m young, I'm too stupid to know how much my parents are paying this school to keep me enrolled? Who knows how high of a raise you must be getting for ‘selflessly’ keeping me in this school by any means. Am I honestly supposed to believe you did it from the goodness of your heart? You? For me?” Izaya continues to cackle, voice way too loud. After being accused of being duplicitous, Shizuo erupts but the confused shock is still frozen on his face. 

“How fucking dare you. That has _nothing_ to do-” Izaya tunes him out completely with a mocking grin, slowly inching his way towards the door again before interrupting.

“Of course that’s why you’re doing this, I can see how desperate you are for the extra cash too just based on the cheap shoes and clothes you wear. And let’s not forget about your car,” he laughs venomously. “It’s pointless to continue this farce. Nothing you say is going to change my mind, ok? I’m leaving this room one way or another and you can’t stop me unless you want me to try the window again, or worse, I’ll-”

“Then leave!” Shizuo cuts through loudly. The room goes silent and Izaya realizes he’s out of breath. They stand there staring at each other with contempt until Izaya works his feet to gather his things and goes. Shizuo watches him the whole time, not moving an inch. His expression is one of resignation. Izaya will not bring himself to say goodbye and he doesn’t stick around to watch Shizuo clean up the mess of papers this time. 

\-----

Izaya vows to never go back to detention again. How could he possibly face Shizuo again after such a disgraceful episode? How could he possible step foot inside his classroom ever again? Rather than go home he spends the rest of the night in the city with his humans. He doesn’t want time alone to think of what happened or what Shizuo said. There are so many things he doesn’t want to think about.

He justifies going to school the next day by thinking his final act of defiance will be to walk out for ever at the end of the day. He got no sleep that night and skipped his first few classes to catch up on it but he showed up all the same. He catches up on sleep in Shizuo's class too and again, his professor makes no comment during class. He made a vow, he was determined. But deep down he knows he’ll never keep it. He can’t explain it but he can’t stand the thought of never seeing Shizuo again as much as he loathes to admit it. Whether it be because of the fun he’d miss or the excitement that Shizuo’s anger causes him, he can’t let it end. Izaya threw terrible, personal insults straight to Shizuo’s face but he didn’t get angry once, except when he accused him of being a liar. Instead there was shock on his face and even maybe… pity, he despised him for it. Everything was out of his control. Izaya wants to fantasize about the old Shizuo, the man who loathed him and didn’t think twice before punishing him but he refuses to do that too. He’s learned one thing at least, allowing Shizuo to see his emotions is unacceptable. He knows how to make him soft, and he knows how to make him angry. He’ll choose anger. 

His final period comes and goes and to both their surprise, Izaya stays behind for detention despite everything. 

Shizuo is decent enough not to comment on it or on the crazy way Izaya reacted before. Shizuo also doesn’t ask any more questions. At least not right away. Izaya is calm now, deeply regretting ever having lost control yesterday. Shizuo’s bad temperament must be contagious. However, during the first few moments after it becomes clear Izaya will stay, they share a tense silence before Shizuo takes the assignments to him and Izaya reiterates that he won’t touch them. 

"That's twice you've fallen asleep in my class Izaya, are you getting any sleep at all? And you showed up late to school. I think we've established that you shouldn't be fucking skipping anymore," Shizuo mutters to him. Izaya is no longer surprised he's been keeping tabs on him.

"Right, I forgot you're worried about me," Izaya scoffs. "I think we've established that I don't give a _shit_ what you think I should do," he adds with a baleful smirk.

Shizuo slams his fist on Izaya's desk, face grim with anger. Izaya gazes back smugly. "You're digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself Izaya and pretty soon even I won't be able to get you out." Shizuo backs off and returns to his desk. His words rattle in Izaya's head. It turns out he’s saving the real questions for the last hour, and though Izaya is composed, he is more hostile, and cruel than ever now. He still retains his mocking sarcastic attitude, of course but is totally repellant to any kind of real talking. 

It’s only when Shizuo presses on about Izaya’s problems does he act this way. Otherwise it’s like Izaya is himself again with not a care in the world. Like a flipped switch. Regardless, Izaya all but antagonizes Shizuo all day as much as he can. Obviously his teacher has a hard time ignoring it but he must not mind it that much since he refuses to do either back down or give into Izaya’s wishes. Things become extremely volatile for them both. For the rest of the week this continues.

The final breaking point comes at the end of the week, Friday. Though Izaya is in control of himself, he’s heard enough of Shizuo’s sickening attempts to reach him and decides to take a different approach to rile him up. They’ve been going back and forth for a while now, Izaya with his flippant attitude and Shizuo with his unrelenting questions. They still had an hour left and the student was steadily losing his patience. 

“Help me out Izaya, give me _something_. I’m not your enemy here, not anymore.” Shizuo pushes. That's the last thing Izaya wanted to hear.

“You just really want me to say it out loud don’t you? Just to make me do it. You want to know what my problem is? Truly?” He spits, stops his pacing and strides up to Shizuo’s desk where he sits.

“ _Yes,_ ” Shizuo responds cautiously.

“My problem is that I want you bend me over this desk,” he slams his hands on the wooden surface and bends over it to get on Shizuo’s level, “and spank my ass raw until I’m hard, and shaking, and ready to come at any given moment.” His voice drops low and he’s bending down on his elbows, facing Shizuo with a searing gaze. Shizuo leans back in his chair, his mouth parts and his eyes are blown wide and unguarded. 

Izaya straightens up and looks down on him, regards Shizuo’s reaction, and poorly conceals an insolent giggle. Shizuo's initial shock passes and he shoots out of his chair immediately.

"Ok out. _Now_ ," he rasps, and yanks Izaya towards the door. 

“What-”

Shizuo ignores him and pushes him through the door, "detention is over today. You're free to go. I expect you back here on Monday." 

"Hey wait! Come on, seriously?” Shizuo slams the door shut. Izaya stands there in front of the door, huffing in anger. He pounds on it, “My stuff is still in there you moron!” Shizuo returns to drop his bag at his feet before shutting the door again.

How dare he kick Izaya out like that, Izaya doesn’t get kicked out of places, he leaves of his own accord. He wanted to leave anyway. Stupid Shizu-chan. Izaya walks home reflecting upon the past week. He now knows what will get Shizuo most riled up and he intends to fully exploit it. He smirks to himself

When he gets home, he’s greeted by his sisters immediately which never happens unless they have news. They come running down the stairs when they hear him walk through the door. “Iza-nii! Iza-nii! Guess who called us?? Mama and Papa, they’re coming home tomorrow!”

Oh, Right. Izaya had hoped they’d never return this time. He remembers the inevitable parent –principal meeting the following Monday and his mood dampens. Based on what they decide to do with him he’ll either get to stay or get transferred to another school again. Shizuo won’t be able to do anything about that as much as he’d want to. So much for that pay raise of his. 

“Didn’t you hear us, Iza-nii?” Mairu repeats. “They’re coming back.” 

“Yeah, so? You know they’ll be too busy to spend time with you anyway. They’ll also probably push back their flight an extra day to get some more work done.” 

Mairu punches him in the stomach. She’s getting faster, but she’s still little so Izaya flinches from surprise only. “Nn! You’re so mean! They’ll make time for us, they always do.”

“Once every couple of weeks maybe,” Izaya comments drily while taking off his shoes. What a terrible thing to come home to. He preferred thinking about Shizuo’s stunned face and what he was gonna do to make him show it again. Shizuo didn't give him a chance to see anything else before kicking him out. 

“They said they were going to take us out for ice cream too when they get back.”

Izaya shrugs. “Fine, listen to them and not me.” He walks past them into the kitchen and digs through one of the cabinets. He doesn’t think of the disappointment they will face nor does he care. 

Mairu trails behind. “You’re just mad because they want to see us and they’re making you move schools again,” she sing songs. 

Izaya turns around sharply, already regretting not going straight to his room. “What? What did they tell you?” He asks. 

“They said you were a mess they had to clean up again,” Kururi replies with probably the most words he's heard her say all week. Mairu finishes for her, “they always say that when they're going to move you.”

Izaya shakes his head. “You both are liars. They don’t say that every time,” he snaps at Mairu in particular.

Kururi gazes quietly at him. “They did this time.” 

Izaya fumes silently at them. Mairu laughs and whispers into Kururi’s ear, “Uh oh, he's mad now. We showed him huh, Kuru-nee?” before taking her hand and pulling her upstairs. “Good luck Iza-nii!” 

Then a quieter, “bye.” 

He rolls his eyes and slams the cabinet shut. He won't stew over this. Just because they said that didn't make things final. And even if they'd already decided, he'd make them change their mind one way or another. He covers his face and laughs despite himself. All week he’s been trying to get himself expelled and now his parents might end up doing it for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally finished I hope all of you are still here reading my story! Leave your thoughts, I'd love to hear them. Chapter 7 will not take as long as this one did, and I'm very excited to have that one finished. Don't forget to re-read chapter 5 if you want to!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, wow I said this wouldn't take much time and look at me. Sorry! I won't make any promises I can't keep anymore but I'll never let this story go, that you can take my word for! I'll add more here when I've gotten some rest. I'm posting this at like 3am lol Also I've been meaning to answer the rest of the comments for the last chapter but I haven't gotten to them yet. Yet!
> 
> Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

They arrive in a sleek black rental car that Saturday evening. He was alerted to it by Mairu’s cheers and both of his sisters barreling through the hall before running outside. His bedroom window faces the side of the house where a driveway runs alongside. He looks down on them with a blank expression as his mother and father step out. They’re wearing their usual dark business attire, sluggish from their flight. They still look lively and attractive for their age, Izaya was glad he inherited that from them at least but Izaya always disliked how much he looked like his mother. He turns away when his sisters come into view outside, right before they jump into their arms. His sisters always forget how long the wait is. All the time spent longing and missing their parents is forgiven once they're back. Izaya used to be that way too. But that was before, before he decided to grow up. His sisters are still young but they'll learn soon enough as well. 

He keeps to himself in his room, knowing no one will disturb him. He prefers when they’re not home, thankfully it’s not often that they are home. But when they are, it’s harder for him to pretend they don’t exist. He tunes out the voices and shuffling around the house by filling his head with music and the tidings that come in some of these local forums. He doesn’t think they’re all true, but he’s good at fact checking. Every day something new happens, and every night, twice that much. It’s even better when he’s out there. _What kind of career could lend itself to doing that?_ He thinks ironically. He doesn’t think he could bare slaving away most of his life indoors, working at firms or companies or corporations.

He only leaves his room when his stomach grumbles. His parents are unloading groceries onto the kitchen counter when he saunters down the stairs and walks past them. They don’t notice him in their haste. His sisters might have, but they’re clinging onto their parents like spider monkeys, filling them in on everything they missed these past few weeks. He pulls on his boots and heads out without a word. 

The next morning, things are less fortunate. Izaya is about to leave the house again in the early morning, ready to get the most out of his free time before the pointless meeting he’ll have to suffer through tomorrow and also to clear his head of his past week. He didn’t think he’d run into anyone this early so his mother’s presence throws him off. She’s in the kitchen reading a newspaper over the counter and making coffee. She's already showered and dressed in a silk blouse and a gray pencil skirt. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen her in pajamas. What made him stop was the cool stare being directed at him as he slowed his pace.

“Mother,” Izaya greeted blandly, “good to have you and father back.” If it had been his father he might not have said anything but his mother had a special aversion to him that Izaya liked to exploit. 

“You would think so after everything you did to force us back.” Izaya expected that. He grins the smallest of grins.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m your mother, not one of your fools. We were on the verge of closing a deal with another potential buyer and bound to stay longer when you nearly get yourself _expelled_. You just couldn’t help it could you?” She studies his face with disinterest, trailing over the slight discoloration that still lingers under his eye. “I hope you’re happy,” she says and turns to pour the coffee into a mug. 

“I had no idea.” Izaya laughs. His dear mother still thinks he is vying for their attention, how cute. He stopped trying that ages ago. Everything Izaya does, he does for himself now. It just so happens that he gets in a lot of trouble for it. Well, that may have been true until he met Shizuo. _His_ attention is the only thing that matters now.

“Of course you didn’t,” she agrees mockingly, sending a deliberately blank look over the rim of her mug. He wasn't lying though. He only provoked Tsukiyama on a reckless whim. But he doesn’t mind taking the credit for their inconvenience; he gets so much joy from making their lives more complicated. His mother turns her attention back to the newspaper on the counter and that marks the end of their conversation. He thinks for a moment he might ask about tomorrow but he holds his tongue and goes on his way. 

Izaya had been having a good time with Shizuo, he realizes with discomfort. His parents have only been back two days but it has made his mood darken so much, it makes his hell week with Shizuo seem like a vacation. What does that say about him? It should be the other way around. At least with his own parents, Izaya has no illusions about how much they care, but with Shizuo… he’s not sure anymore, and he's not fond of uncertainty. There’s a possibility Shizuo is telling the truth, sure, and he’s not known to have near enough tact to be a good liar, but he’ll die before he trusts that stupid blond bastard.

He treats himself to sushi and walks around town, meets people he’s talked to online, except he’s the only one that sees them. Often times he likes to match those people up with themselves, it makes for a really entertaining show. But he reserves that for another time because he’s too distracted. He’s been avoiding Shinra ever since they last saw each other too, not wanting to be asked ‘how things went’ and have to think up some clever thing to say. The sky blackens but the glow of the city remains ever so bright.

A part of him wonders if he went too far with his recent dig into Shizuo. He did not enjoy getting thrown out of the room like that either. It reminded him of the weeks when Shizuo met his efforts with cold indifference and locked classroom doors. But then again, that was not remotely on par with the line he crossed when Shizuo told him he was worried for him. He still clenches his fists in shame whenever he remembers how he disgraced himself. If that little display wasn't enough for Shizuo get rid of him, he could do _anything_ , and Shizuo would _still_ expect him back the next day and the one after that.

Izaya pictures it again, Shizuo’s shocked, almost innocent expression when Izaya admitted he wanted Shizuo to spank him over his desk. There’s no way he didn’t know already but maybe he never thought Izaya would actually say it out loud. _I should have said ‘until I come all over your assignments,’_ Izaya giggles to himself at the thought. Would that have made his reaction more scandalized or angry? He couldn’t tell much from his reaction to begin with but he hoped to see more.

It’s the solution he's been searching for. He left Shizuo so flustered with little confession, it won’t be hard to exploit it again. Izaya’s _disgraceful_ outburst will be overshadowed and forgotten, and he won't have to worry about Shizuo insisting on pretending to care about him because he’ll be too busy warding off Izaya’s inappropriate comments and information. Shizuo won’t _punish_ him anymore, fine. Izaya will just have to make due with seeing Shizuo react with shock and discomfort instead. 

When he comes back home, he’s thankful to find it quiet and free of his parents. Izaya goes about his business, and even does some homework. He doesn’t stop thinking about his teacher. When has he ever been able to stop? If he could only think of all the times he made Shizuo flustered, he’d stay happy but his mind strays back to the unpleasant memories too. His soft gaze, his stupid lies, and his relentless attempts to trick Izaya into saying something too personal, all come to mind. Izaya’s already fallen for the trick twice already. He thinks about this meeting too. He can’t know for sure what the outcome tomorrow will be but if his parents do decide to take him out...no, he’d rather not think about it.

\----

The appointment is set for the following day after school. His parents got a hold of him before he left and warned him not to mess anything up and to follow their lead. They also tell him he has to come home with them after the meeting so as not to look strange. They don’t bother telling him what they expect to get from this meeting and he doesn’t ask. To them, he’s not worth sharing that information with. He wouldn’t dare ask them to let him stay either because they might definitely move him out of spite for causing so much trouble.

So instead, Izaya willfully thinks nothing of this meeting except for how boring and insignificant it’ll be. He enjoys class with Shizuo instead.

Ah, Shizuo. He spends the entire class period never meeting Izaya’s eyes, but one single time. He doesn’t even look anywhere in his direction which is really something, considering Izaya is seated near the middle row, and closer to the front of the room than the back. He finds it so amusing that he can’t stop grinning the whole time.

Whenever Shizuo used to ignore him, he never had qualms about landing his gaze on Izaya briefly, and then on another student. He often looked past him like he didn't exist. That always angered Izaya the most; he shouldn't have been looking at him like any other student. Izaya was like no one else. But now? It is clear Shizuo is painfully aware of Izaya’s presence by the stiffness of his shoulders and back, and his refusal to look at a whole half of his classroom during lecture.

 _If only I had detention with you today, Shizu-chan_ , he thinks. _I’d have so much fun with you again._ He’s confident he could make him blush if given the opportunity. But he was told that he wouldn't be required in detention today.

Izaya raises his hand several times to answer questions and Shizuo never so much as turns in his direction, even when Izaya is the only one volunteering. Shizuo picks on someone else to answer it. When his raised hand goes ignored for over 5 minutes, Izaya finally speaks aloud, “Excuse me! _Shizu-chan_ , I’ve been holding my hand out forever, I have a question about–”

“Questions can be asked at the end of class!” Shizuo whirled on him and bellowed suddenly. His reaction was so abrupt that Izaya’s classmates nearly jumped out of their seats, one accidentally knocked their notes off their desk from the scare.

“ _What_?” He asks incredulously. “But other–”

“No more questions until after class. That goes for _all_ of you,” Shizuo directs to the whole room in a tone with no room for argument. Izaya finds it so comical he wishes he could have recorded it. The thought starts a whole string of possibilities for the future. 

_I better not get moved to some other school,_ he thinks. _No turn of events has ever been sweeter for me_. The final bell rings and all the students are dismissed. Izaya waits to be the last to leave so he can tease his professor about getting out of detention today but it strikes him oddly that Shizuo is packing his things too. He never does that right after class.

“So about that question I had,” Izaya grins cheekily at him as he approaches.

“ _Bite me_.”

Izaya’s grin widens. He has no intention of following that command but he takes notice again of Shizuo’s haste to leave. “Have somewhere to be Shizu-chan?”

“It's _Sensei_ ,” he corrects shortly, making it a point of ignoring him as he cleans up his desk. “And I’m going to be at your meeting.”

The words catch up to him slowly. Wait… No. His world shrinks down to a narrow tunnel. Not again… not so soon. He shakes his head.

“No, you _can’t_. You have no right to be there,” Izaya protests. That finally makes Shizuo pause and he looks at Izaya sternly, but briefly.

“I asked Akirawa-san weeks in advance to be present for your meeting and he’s agreed I should be there. So…I actually do.” He continues stacking up the remaining folders and shoving them into his worn bag.

“I don’t want you to!” Shizuo looks at him differently this time, studying him carefully.

“It’s going to be fine, alright? It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

“Don’t tell me anything is going to be ‘fine,’ do you take me for a blubbering _child?_ You are not going.” _It will ruin everything._

“Believe me, I don’t.” He can tell Shizuo was holding back a sneer. “And yes, I am. I'm getting this over with. Are you coming or not?” 

“You just don't get it, do you? I’m not going! Not if you’re there. So you better make a choice between the two of us. I don’t care either way. They can kick me out of here and expel me for all I c–” his voice cuts off and Shizuo watches him with a frown, his bag forgotten.

 _Why am I wasting my breath? I’ve been saying the same thing for the past two weeks, if I was going to get myself kicked out, I would have gotten it_ done _already._ The thought falls on him like a ton of bricks. It's true. How many times had he repeated this very same threat? Why say these things to Shizuo if not because he wants to be stopped? He's suddenly angry and disappointed with himself all at once.

He takes his leave, fully prepared to endure this meeting until it's finally all over. His parents will choose to send him somewhere else, why beat around the bush? And he won’t need to keep up this song and dance any longer. He would end it himself to save the trouble but… he just can’t.

Shizuo seems to misinterpret his silence. He steps swiftly around the desk, grabs Izaya’s shoulder before he gets far and leans down to his level. “ _Listen_. It'll be ok,” he repeats with a gentle sort of ferocity. “Please. Don't miss this meeting. Please don’t.” Shizuo has no right to look this scared. _Do you want your new car that badly?_ he thinks bitterly. When Izaya can’t look at him anymore he shrugs his hand off and leaves.

His parents are already waiting for him in the office, ever the timely people they are. Shizuo arrives shortly after him but he’s gone back to pretending he’s not there. There are three chairs set before the principal's desk and Izaya takes the one on the far right. Akirawa introduces Shizuo and they all shake hands and exchange polite greetings. Izaya can’t help but notice how Shizuo is the taller than even his own father, though just by a few inches. He starts picking his nails and tries to think of anyone he knows that’s as tall.

“Thank you both for taking the time to meet with us. Please sit,” the principal says. They all sit, his mother beside him, his father beside her, and Shizuo across from them in a chair against the wall by Akirawa’s left.

“As you already know, for quite some time your son has been displaying very troubling behavior here at Raira. His most recent offense was physically engaging with another student on school grounds and–”

“He means fighting,” Izaya clarifies. Everyone glares at him.

“Be quite,” his mother rebukes under her breath.

The principal continues, frowning at Izaya. “But that's not all of it I'm afraid. That was only _after_ a culmination of other behaviors. He has damaged school property, has been caught using illicit substances, and stealing test answers as well.”

“ _Oh_ ,” his mother feigns a horrified sound and puts a hand over her chest.

“I’ve suspended both Izaya and the other boy for this fighting. However as it turned out in this particular case, Izaya-san’s motivations were more well-meaning. We later discovered he was defending a peer who was being harassed by this other boy and he was attacked for his efforts. That was the only reason your son was not expelled that very same day.”

Izaya bites his tongue to prevent himself from saying something stupid. Like he needs to be _reminded_ of the debt he owes Shizuo for that stupid lie. He glimpses him sitting against the wall. He's wearing his dress jacket, something he hardly does in class and his shirt is a darker cool color. It makes him look more professional, no doubt about it. He hasn’t said a word yet and Izaya wonders if he'll stay quiet the whole time.

“But that doesn’t erase his _numerous_ and increasingly severe offenses. We are determined to take a different approach to stopping this but the issue of his disregard for authority poses many concerns to us all at Raira Academy and we hope you can do your part in assisting us in the home.”

“We are more aware and more appalled by Izaya’s actions more than anyone, especially his recent act of violence. We have been dealing with this for many years, long before we brought him here, actually. This is the fourth school we’ve tried,” said his father. “Or the fifth? Frankly, I haven’t the vaguest idea what else we can do with him at home.”

“I agree,” his mother adds. “You must believe we’ve tried _everything_. He didn’t last a week in boot camp, nor in therapy, and extracurricular activities were a disaster on their own. He’s done _unseemly_ things.”

“I understand you must be very overwhelmed by this Orihara-san–”

“Please, call me Kyouko.”

“Kyouko-san, there’s no doubt you and your husband are very involved with your son, but I am sure there is still more you can do. I was very troubled by your prolonged absence after Izaya-san’s suspension. You both were out of the country for almost a month, correct? I must ask, are these trips very frequent?”

“Don’t think I’ll of us, Akirawa-san. We work tirelessly for the benefit of our family and these business trips are a necessity,” his father Shouto explains mild-mannered.

“Fortunately, these trips are rare. It is always painful to leave our children for too long,” his mother answers amicably. Izaya suppresses a groan. Did the two of them rehearse this?

“I’m relieved to hear that. It will be difficult for us to help your son if we cannot take everything into consideration. Your cooperation is of paramount importance. For the sake of understanding more,” the principal folds his hands, “could you please tell me what Izaya’s behavior at home has been like this past year? Is he getting along with you both and his sisters?”

“Please tell mother, since I don't know the answer myself,” Izaya pleads mockingly. 

“Izaya-san, that's quite enough,” Akirawa scolds irritated. “Let me remind you, you are still on thin ice.” Izaya is still well aware.

His mother goes on as if Izaya never spoke. “If only I could say. I admit we work long, hard hours, but it’s only to give our children good lives and we also salvage our time with them.” _All lies,_ Izaya thinks, but he expects nothing less. They would have to be stupid to tell the truth. “However, we can't begin to understand where all his behavior is coming from. He avoids us, even his own little sisters, and disappears for hours on end wandering around the heart of the city, isn’t that right Izaya-kun?”

She turns to him expectantly. Izaya meets her eyes with a cold, blank stare but says nothing. She sighs again through her nose with irritating patience. “See? God knows what he’s getting himself into out there. We're so worried he might get sucked into illegal activities but he won't _listen_. It hurts me so much to see him so distant.”

Izaya can't exactly out his parents for the cold-blooded liars so he laughs boisterously instead. His mother side-eyes him and Akirawa purses his lips. “Izaya-san, your parents worry about your safety and you find that _funny_? Try to imagine things from their perspective and you will see it’s no laughing matter. You want to improve yourself for your family don't you?”

Izaya gives him a look as contemptuous as he dares. There should be no harm in telling the old man what a daft, incompetent fool he is if he’s going to be expelled anyway but Shizuo speaks before he gets the chance.

“I’m positive he’s willing to improve, Akirawa-san. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kept coming back to detention,” he says curtly. Offended, Izaya glares at him instead. How dare he even say such a thing out loud? _I knew you were just a lackey all along._

Shizuo doesn’t seem to notice him though. He’s frowning fiercely down at Akirawa’s desk, deep in thought, and shifting around in his seat. The principal doesn’t notice his expression and takes his response with a satisfied nod.

“Forgive me, it’s not my place to reprimand your son in your presence,” the older man says to Shouto. His father waves a hand in a reassuring manner.

“Please, think nothing of it. You see what we have to deal with, you may have better luck.”

“That is my hope as well. I know that now, Izaya might be closed off but can you remember anything that might have happened to him around the time when all this unruliness first began?”

“Truthfully, we don’t,” Kyouko says. “And we also have our own grievances. We’ve searched far and wide for a place that could hold our son. Most schools won’t take him and he hasn’t lasted longer than a semester most times.” She’s right about that; Izaya never lasts in one school. He sees to it. Whether it takes a month or half a year, his parents always lose their patience with him and simply put him somewhere fresh and new like they can reset him and buy more time until the next unavoidable problem he drags them into. His mother continues.

“We brought him here thinking this school knew how to handle that kind of behavior. We’d heard of your harsher methods for dealing with his sort and hoped it would be enough to bring some sense back to him but it seems we overestimated the quality of this institution. How could you let him reach this point? Our son is getting into fights and using drugs now like some delinquent? It’s unheard of!”

And there it is, what he’s been waiting for. Izaya stops himself from rolling his eyes at the forced melodrama. Akirawa scrambles to adjust to the new direction the conversation takes, helpless against the shift of blame. Now he’s the one that has to answer for Izaya’s behavior instead of his parents. Izaya would be amused but this situation isn't really funny to him. He might enjoy it more if Shizuo Heiwajima wasn't here in the room scrutinizing all three of them at this very moment. Izaya will _not_ look at him again.

“I understand perfectly, Kyouko-san.”

“Do you?”

“I can only imagine the hardships that come with a wayward child. We are doing the best we can, difficult as he can be, and Heiwajima-san, one of our best teachers, will be overseeing his after-school detention.”

“By detention you mean your ‘old’ way of disciplining him?” She smiles graciously. “As much as we are eager for _any_ solution, it doesn’t seem that approach is quite as effective anymore or else we needn’t be here. In fact, based on the direction Izaya is going, it seems we’ll be here again. You must understand our disillusionment after having contributed so much to this school?” 

She is really laying it on thick. It’s obvious now what’s going to happen. If Izaya wanted to fight it, he should have done so before they came here but it was too late now. He will need to start getting used to the fact that he won’t see Shizuo anymore. Not every day at least. Will it be that terrible? He really doesn’t know. Shizuo will never punish him again, has humiliated him countless times, and told disgusting lies to him, but he still doesn’t want to leave. 

While the principal responds with objections and reassurances, Izaya’s gaze is unwittingly pulled to his teacher and finds bright brown eyes already focused on him. He’s frowning lightly, his eyes are wrought with confusion and anger. _Anger, but not towards me_ , he can see that now. There’s less and less of that in Shizuo’s eyes for him lately. Izaya hates it, hates it even more that he had to meet his parents. Izaya glares back to show his disdain for him being here, but secretly, he hides away little details of Shizuo’s face to memory before looking away.

“Things were going so well for Izaya here, I’ll admit. This is the longest he’s behaved at all of his schools, that is also true, but his behavior is only getting worse. I’m not sure if Raira Academy is really the right fit after all that’s happened.”

“Its _fine_ , Izaya interjects sharply. He’s annoyed by his mother's blatant falseness and Shizuo’s blatant stupid _worry_.

“Don’t interrupt us, Izaya,” his father warns him. 

“Or else _what_?” He fires back, ready to get out of his chair.

His mother puts a hand on her husband’s arm and smiles politely at the principal. “Is there any way we can have this talk without him in the room? Otherwise, I’m afraid we’ll be here all day.” Izaya does roll his eyes this time _and_ groans.

Shizuo clears his throat carefully and looks at his parents. “Actually, I think its best if he is present for this since it directly concerns him.”

Oh, that’s the voice he uses when he’s hanging by a thread of control. He’s heard it often enough to know. But why is he angry _now?_. The stubborn urge to take a peek at him again wins out. Shizuo isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s forcing a neutral expression, and his hands are clutching the armrests of his chair in a white-knuckled grip.

Hearing anyone disagree with his parents is a victory in his mind but it’s unnerving to hear those words come from Shizuo. Maybe he’s angry because he has to force himself to defend the ‘flea’. That has to be it. His mother tenses slightly at his rough voice and focuses her gaze on him as if she finally realized he was there.

“Heiwajima-san,” she tries the name out. “You’re the teacher who proposes to keep Izaya-kun after school, then?” Izaya doesn't know why he feels himself tense. Shizuo gives a nod and a yes. 

“I am wondering. You’ve dealt with him before for his infractions, but why haven’t you been successful? I had heard promising things about you.” Like that Shizuo was feared for his terrifying demeanor and the way he punished his students. Izaya laughed at what they said before he transferred here, it only keyed him up further to face the challenge. Now there isn’t any.

“Your son…” Shizuo begins awkwardly, “he's resistant to every effort we’ve made to discipline him as you probably guessed. Even my own …method has had no effect on him,” he takes her bluntness with stride but his voice is still a little strained for a different reason. Izaya leans back in his chair and thinks about how _resistant_ he's been to Shizuo’s punishments. It's good to know that tiny bit of leverage isn't totally lost on him.

“Then what is your plan to keep him in line if your method doesn't work and never did?” She asks skeptically and Izaya bristles again. He is at the height of his patience with everyone talking about him like he's not there, especially his mother. Almost as if he heard his thoughts, Shizuo glances at Izaya before answering.

“Orihara-san defies most teachers’ commands and often cuts classes and detentions but rarely with me. Of that, I can assure you. This past week in detention can speak to that. He’s attended every single one and will continue to. While he does, I will see to it myself that he uses his time honestly and productively so we can steer him back on the right path. I accept full responsibility for the escalation of his behavior. It should have _never_ reached this point. I was tasked with disciplining him but I failed, and for that, I deeply apologize to the three of you,” he bows his head solemnly and is answered by heavy silence. Izaya balks at him while his parents exchange a look.

_Three_ of–? _Huh?!_

“...Thank you.” Kyouko says, too taken aback to put any of her usual charm into her voice. Izaya just continues to stare dumbly at him.

“Heiwajima-san is correct. Ever since Izaya-san’s suspension has been lifted, there have been no incidents. There is no need fear while your son is under his care. He is relentless as he is principled,” the principal adds, looking pleased with himself. “We are fully prepared to take the right steps to prevent further misbehavior. We guarantee it.”

“And what of his grades? They're the worse than ever,” his father counters, still not convinced. “Heiwajima-san, what you propose sounds great, but you can't mean to be his tutor on top of all that. Even if you could, you can’t help him with all his other failing subjects. You even mentioned he stole test answers,” he reminds Akirawa.

Shizuo responds before Izaya has a chance to recover from the first shock. “I don't believe he truly did that for those test answers. He’s prone to do things that gain a lot of attention. And his grades, well, they are bad now yes, but... Orihara-san has so much potential. He could easily bounce back if he really wanted to and there’s enough time before this semester ends.

He has a lot of problems with authority, that much is obvious, but not with schoolwork. He’s one of the brightest, most intelligent students I’ve ever encountered as a teacher. Many times, he goes weeks without turning in a single graded assignment or even touching a textbook but when the time came for his exams, he passed with better grades than anyone else in my class. That was only when he felt like demonstrating his capabilities though. Orihara-san has all the wits a person his age could hope to have for but his success entirely depends on his own willingness to put in the effort and take his school work seriously. I wholeheartedly believe he deserves another chance.”

He goes on and on and on to his parents, staring fixedly at them, not Izaya, who is frowning in horror. He belatedly remembers to close his mouth. Shizuo being on his side… defending him, and praising him is unbelievable, surreal even. Izaya was sure hell would freeze over before something like this ever happened. His parents must be thinking Shizuo mistook their son for another boy entirely. Most teachers and principals are jumping with joy when his parents come to take him away. Their shocked silence seems to fuel Shizuo’s simmering anger further but he’s doing a serviceable job of hiding it. 

“Please hear us. Your son is in good hands here at Raira,” Akirawa insists for the billionth time. “Heiwajima-san is determined to put all his efforts into correcting your son.”

Izaya openly studies his parents’ expression. He can see them thinking, maybe re-thinking. Putting Izaya in the hands of a school that's this desperate to keep him could prove less work than moving him and starting anew. Is it relief he’s feeling right now? His mother frowns at him suspiciously as if he had some part in this. _Whatever you're thinking, you’re not even close._

“Izaya _has_ tolerated this school much longer than the others,” Kyouko says reluctantly as she turns to his father. He agrees.

“He is disobedient to a fault, so it's surprising that you say he attends every one of your after-school sessions,” his father muses with intrigue. “How can you know he won't act out again?” He asks the principal and Shizuo both. It's Shizuo who answers first.

“He won't. It's all under control.”

It's said with so much blunt certainty that Izaya’s mind begins to race.

Shizuo goes suddenly silent again and this time he focuses his gaze on the other end of the room. Father weighs his response and eventually shrugs. “If you guarantee it… no one's ever _guaranteed_ us before, have they Kyouko?”

“Never,” she answers him, looking at the principal, “no one dared promise such a thing when it concerned our Izaya-kun,” she smiles wanly. “I appreciate your persistence for keeping our son here. It speaks to your resolve for helping him.”

“Of course, Kyouko-san. It is my job to help students, all of them, but I thank you all the same.” Izaya has to resist the urge to throw up in his mouth.

“There is one more thing I would like to discuss in case you do decide to allow your son to stay enrolled,” the principal begins. “It has been increasingly difficult getting in touch with you both. Most of our attempts to communicate with you go unanswered which, by itself, is troubling. I would like a better way of reaching you, perhaps if possible, the extensions to your offices. We should stay in close contact so you may be updated on your son's progress.”

“How generous you are,” Shouto chuckles lightly. “Are you sure that's necessary? You said yourself he will be in very capable hands.”

Kyouko smiles at that. “I think my husband has already been swayed in your favor, Akirawa-san.

 _If_ we decide to keep Izaya here, we would much prefer those lines only be used in case of emergencies. Please understand that our work makes it very hard to attend to matters like these. We are perfectly willing to hand you the reins if it means the best thing for Izaya. There would be no need to consult with us,” Shizuo’s eyebrows pinch together angrily and his mouth twists in an effort to stay passive. Izaya was wrong. There is no relief in this, not when Shizuo is here witnessing everything.

“I am humbled by your trust in us, thank you both for coming.”

Shizuo slowly stands up. “Please excuse me, I have to use the bathroom,” he says stiffly. He doesn’t wait for a response and exits the room in long strides. Izaya turns in his seat and watches him go with overwhelming bewilderment. No way. There’s no way he’s that angry. Maybe annoyed, but not furious. _Why?_

“I need to go to the bathroom too, really, really badly,” he says to the principal.

“You absolutely will not move from that chair until this meeting is over, Izaya-san,” the principal says sternly. Izaya deflates.

“As I was saying,” his mother picks the conversation back up without sparing a glance at either Izaya or his professor, “we don’t know what’s happening to our son, but if you and that Heiwajima-san insist that you will have him under control, then we may be so inclined to reconsider our previous decision. I think it’s–” _talk, talk, talk, ughh_

Izaya hates hearing her unwavering voice, more so now that Shizuo isn’t here to distract him. When she speaks, it's always even, measured, and in the purest sense, professional. It’s so _boring_ , and so… lifeless. Father is the same way, only he takes slightly more pleasure in conversation. He must not have anything further to say though because he just sits there tapping his finger idly on his armrest and checking the clock on the wall every few minutes or so. If he’s bored, that makes two of them. This meeting has gone on too long.

Shizuo returns in under ten minutes looking a little worse for wear. No one comments on it or even seems to notice, except for Izaya, who always notices everything about him. Yet, he can't begin to comprehend what he's seeing. Nothing about Shizuo is making sense today. _Or all week for that matter._

His mother is a truly irritating woman for him but she hasn't done anything to Shizuo. And even he finds her irritating, there's no way it could be enough to put this expression on his face. She and the principal discuss the continuation of their support to the school and eventually give over their extensions in the case of dire emergencies. But he's only paying attention to what they're saying to gage Shizuo’s reactions to them. Said man sits there stiff as a board with his fists clenched.

All of a sudden, Shizuo’s eyes find his own and they share a silent conversation. He looks perplexed, curious, even saddened. Izaya doesn't know what his own expression might tell. He feels an odd sensation as they stare at each other, like something in his chest unfurled and started crawling around inside him frantically. It's unsettling but as much as he wants it gone, he’s helpless and naked under him. Shizuo looks away first.

“Now, I'm certain Heiwajima-san will do his part but Izaya-san –are you listening? You have to meet us halfway. I'll remind you your detentions are still mandatory and if you fail to comply or commit any more offenses you will be removed from our school. Do you accept these terms?”

“I guess I have no choice but to accept, Akirawa-Sensei,” he says with a colder courtesy than his parents. _You had your choice and you made it. There are no more excuses left._

The meeting comes to a close as Izaya’s parents reach a final agreement with the principal. Akirawa seems more than satisfied with the results but Shizuo looks grim and joyless. All Izaya can think about is how glad he is to be done with this. He is feeling too glad actually. That's not right, no. They stand and shake hands but Izaya slings his bag over his shoulder and starts to leave.

“Thank your principal for his understanding, Izaya,” Kyouko protests.

“I already have before,” Izaya says, not stopping. The old man can tolerate his insolence if he wants his parents’ money so bad. He reaches the door but Shizuo calls out and he turns around. He's standing by the chair Izaya sat in while his parents apologize to the principal on his behalf. Shizuo isn’t paying them any mind though, and his eyes are locked on Izaya’s, seeing _him_ only, seeing everything Izaya doesn’t want him to.

“You get today off. I'm expecting you back tomorrow.”

Izaya turns away and leaves the building. He can’t stop hearing Shizuo in his head though no matter how far away he gets. He waits outside by his parents' car trying to keep at one thought at a time. Once they are out, it’s like they can’t leave fast enough. They seem relieved to finally be done with this chore. The three of them ride home mostly in silence; his parents occasionally comment about the meeting with each other until his mother speaks up.

“Izaya, since we were forced to leave unfinished business back in China, we're going to go back in two days’ time. We don't know how long it will take but it shouldn't be more than two weeks. Let the girls know.”

“They're your kids, not mine. _You_ tell them.” They promised the principal they wouldn't be going on more trips any time soon but then how could they possibly live?

His father huffs in disbelief. “This again? Do you still need to make everything so difficult? You are not a child anymore.”

Izaya laughs. _Yes but you probably couldn't tell me my own age._ “I’m sorry no one you told having kids meant having to speak to them, really,” Izaya says flatly, scrolling through forums on his phone. He’s always refused to raise their children for them. He can't do much about the cards he's been dealt but he can at least put his foot down on this. They aren't his burden, and he will not let his parents pass it on to someone else. It's a good thing his sisters have each other, at least.

His mother shakes her head as she types a message on her phone and sighs. “Forget it Shouto. I shouldn’t have even asked him.”

Shouto doesn't say anything more on the subject. Izaya sits there actively trying to focus on nothing but his phone. He can't trust his thoughts about Shizuo right now, but he doesn't want to be stuck here in the present with these two. The small semblance of peace Izaya felt earlier is gone now. He yearns for when they're gone but his little sisters won’t be. He was never good at offering comfort.

\---

It’s evident within the first few minutes of class that things are different. Izaya didn’t say a word to Shizuo and neither did he. Izaya stares at him though, replaying the events of their meeting over and over again. Detention after that is awkward too but only at first. He stays in his seat while everyone shuffles out. Kida tells him to 'Keep hanging on', still believing that Izaya’s been getting his ass beaten with a paddle all week. _If only it were that._

Once they’re alone, Izaya continues to stare. The man himself pays him no mind as he calmly flips through papers, writing this or that on them, before moving onto the next one. Izaya can't forget anything Shizuo did yesterday. It constantly plays in his mind. All the different ways Shizuo tried reaching out to him. Then there was the empathic look he sent him towards the end, the one that said _I understand_. Now he isn’t doing anything or asking questions.

“Why did you say all those things about me?” Izaya blurts.

“Because it was the truth,” Shizuo answers gruffly. Izaya can't argue with that, but…

“But you hate me.”

Shizuo seems to get offended by that. He glares heavily, “I don't hate you.”

“Why not?” Izaya asks defensively. Shizuo is starting to get annoyed again. Izaya didn't think this would be the way to do it but as much as he enjoys the thought, he wants answers first.

“Maybe I strongly _dislike_ you, but that is not hate.”

“You _despised_ me and with good reason after some of the things I’ve done. No one asked you to say all of that for me,” _or lie for me, or apologize to me, or do_ any _of this._

“Look,” Shizuo takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes before looking him dead in the eye. “As many times as I've wanted to punch your annoying _face_ in, you're still my student first, and pest second. I can't hate you. And even if I did, I can't just give up on you. I want to help you.”

Izaya pretends he didn't hear that last part. “Sure,” he says plainly, not at all satisfied with that answer. Shizuo did use to hate him, he knows it. He's seen unbridled anger and hatred in his eyes before, _all_ of it for him. But that's obviously changed. _Do you feel so bad for me, you can't even hate me anymore?_ Shizu-chan thinks he’s a normal teacher now. Izaya gets up and stands in front of Shizuo’s desk.

“Well, what did you think about them then? Spit it out,” Izaya demands impatiently. He has to know.

Shizuo’s irritation returns but he puts his marker down and pauses, staring blankly at his work. Izaya is about to repeat himself when he says, “I honestly thought you were just a spoiled, entitled brat but… this was…” he trails off with a strained expression.

“More pathetic than you expected, huh?” Izaya asks sardonically.

“Shut up!” Shizuo snaps viscously. “Don't talk about yourself like that. And I was going to say _unexpected_.”

“Well it is pathetic, isn't it? It's the classic ‘I wasn't hugged enough as a kid’ sob story. You have me all figured out now, don't you?” Izaya spits. He’s still angry Shizuo inserted himself in their meeting. _I don't care about them, idiot. You don’t know anything._

“No! I don’t, and I would never pretend to. It's not so simple Izaya-kun. Nobody's life is,” he says, looking pained, but resolute.

Izaya sucks his teeth but he has nothing to say to that. Shizuo’s changed so much that he’s hardly recognizable right now. He should provoke him again like he did before, but he's too full of questions and can't stop talking. “Did they really make you that angry?” He asks quietly. 

“Yes.” Shizuo’s expression sours.

“Why?”

“You know why Izaya! Do you know how hard it was being civil with those –” he stops, remembering himself. “They're terrible people and terrible parents.”

“You can't know that from one meeting.”

“Yes, I can, and it doesn’t take a genius to know either… Akirawa-san had to be playing dumb or something. I never thought he…”

“Of course he's playing dumb, what did you think was going on in that room? He’s in it for the money. And you helped him. You’ve got me ‘all under control’ isn’t that right? You did your part and soon you get to enjoy your share of the cut.”

“Don't lump me in with that bullshit!" Shizuo rises to his feet. "I only said that because it's what they wanted to hear but I don't care about money or cars or clothes, got it? I never even knew what his motives were until now. It is beyond appalling, sickening,” he says, his angry voice turning disheartened. "I am so sorry about that. I am so sorry that man even walks these halls." Truthfully, Izaya no longer believes Shizuo to be a corrupt opportunist anymore but he wanted to see what his reaction would be like. Needleless to say, he is starting to dislike his curiosity more with each passing moment.

"Stop apologizing so much."

"I have to say what I have to say," Shizuo says. His eyes soften as he looks at him, "they're never home are they?”

“I'm not telling you anything about them.”

Shizuo just nods like he expected that. “I heard enough from their own mouths. You don't deserve that Izaya-kun.”

“Pointing out what we deserve and what we don't is a fool's errand, Shizu-chan. But I already knew you were a fool,” he folds his arms nonchalantly but looks away. Izaya is starting to feel immensely more uncomfortable the longer they stay on this topic. He shouldn't care what Shizuo thinks of him; if he were pushing anything but this noble, earnest, bullcrap, it would be easier…

Shizuo scowls at the barb but remains calmer than stillwater when he answers. “Everyone, fool or not, deserves to be loved and looked after.”

The statement makes Izaya’s blood boil with rage and his skin flush hot. _What does a monster know about love?_ He wants to shout, but he holds his tongue. He’s done showing his emotions to this man. He can’t hear any more of this, it will tear him apart. “I want to leave early today,” he says, still looking somewhere else.

“You know I can’t let you do that,” Shizuo says softly.

The softness makes him angrier. “What if I do one of these stupid papers, will that be enough to satisfy you??” He yanks out an assignment from the large folder set aside for him on Shizuo's desk and shakes it around irreverently.

Shizuo thinks about it for a moment. “Ok, fine. I’m going to make sure you actually did it though,” he sends him a pointed look.

Izaya rolls his eyes so hard they might fall out and gets to work. It’s a hasty job but he gets it all done, tallying the correct answers, scribbling the percentage on the corner of the page, and slamming it on Shizuo’s current paperwork. He turns to leave without dismissal but Shizuo’s hand reaches out and grasps his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Izaya’s eyes widen and he looks down at his hand and then at Shizuo. But he's not even looking at him; his eyes are down, quickly skimming the paper front and back.

His hold is gentle, inescapable, but gentle. Izaya’s breath gets caught in his throat. It’s nothing like the bruising iron grip he uses when he's angry or annoyed. Once Shizuo is done, he let's go and looks up and smiles. Izaya blinks dumbly.

“Thank you. You’re all good to go,” his voice is calm and he looks almost… friendly. There's no trace of animosity or even annoyance on his face. Izaya’s brain will short circuit if he doesn’t get the hell out of here. He’d even forgotten Shizuo had already let go of his wrist and he’s just been holding his arm out like a moron. He snaps it back and leaves, rubbing away the prickles on his wrist.

Izaya stomps quickly to the bathroom, heart pounding way too hard. He tries to get a hold of himself once inside. He remembers it clearly. That large destructive hand held his wrist firmly but held none of the brutish force he was used to. It was such a harmless, innocent gesture, it threw him off. It was simply to keep Izaya from leaving and yet…Shizuo’s eyes, they too looked… Izaya huffs loudly and goes to the sink to wash his face, then goes home. 

On the way to his room, he sees his parents in their bedroom talking on their phones as they pack the rest of their things. His sisters are in there too, running around and having one-sided conversations with them. Izaya doesn’t even care, his mind is too occupied.

He gets on his bed and takes out his laptop. It’s only then that he lets himself think about all the things that happened today and the day before. Izaya should be used to confusion by this point. He doesn’t know what the hell Shizuo’s doing or why he's doing it but above all, Izaya can't understand his own reactions to it. He’s _responding_ to it. Just that thought alone makes him want to tear his hair out.

He closes his laptop, never having turned it on in the first place, and gets ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have any idea when the next chapter will come out but I am thinking of getting several chapters written at once first. It will help the flow of the story as well as my creative process. Please gimme your thoughts, if you noticed any errors lemme know!


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